- King Richard: Is everything all right, my princess?
- Madalena: Yes, my king.
- King Richard: [chuckles] I should think so. In a few moments, we shall marry, and you will instantly become the richest, most powerful woman in the land.
- Madalena: Yes, my king. Very exciting.
- King Richard: And then tonight, you will join me in my bed.
- Madalena: [disgusted] Yes, my king.
- King Richard: We're going to do it!
- Madalena: Yes.
- King Richard: We're not going to just sit in bed and open gifts and talk about how much fun the wedding was, okay? We're doing it.
- Madalena: Yep.
- King Richard: I mean, of course we're going to open *some* presents. But then, we're going to do it!
- Madalena: Got it.
- [singing]
- Jester: And so begins our plot, of which there's quite a lot, with Isabella stringing Galavant. And with the evil king prepared to do his thing, and with the Queen so pretty sure he can't. And with Gal about to start his journey, one both twisty and immensely turny... Oh, it's lot of plot, we know! But anyway, Heigh-Ho! We're off and here we go! Come back for our next show to see what's next for Galavant!
- King Richard: What happened to the other chef? Looked just like you, but older, more wrinkly.
- Chef: My father?
- King Richard: Right. What happened to him?
- Chef: You had him killed, sir.
- King Richard: Hmm?
- Chef: Your mutton was too rare.
- King Richard: Well, that doesn't sound like me.
- Chef: You killed his father before him. Your family has killed the last four generations of chefs in my family. It's not a great job, my king.
- King Richard: I'm such a bully!
- Galavant: [Interrupting the royal wedding] Now, Gareth and I could surely fight all night to an even draw, if that's what you want. Hell, you can even send all your men to help him, if you so desire. But I'll fend them all off. 'Cause here's the thing. I love her, Richard. She's the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of in the eve. And you can offer her great fame, and you can offer her great fortune, but Only I can offer her great love. And that is what she chooses.
- Madalena: Actually...
- Galavant: Hmm?
- Madalena: I don't know. I've been thinking a lot about it ever since he kidnapped me, and I'm gonna go with the fame and fortune.
- [about Isabella]
- King Richard: She's a pretty young thing, isn't she, Gareth?
- Gareth: A bit plump for my liking.
- King Richard: Plump? The girl's a hundred pounds soaking wet.
- Gareth: I know, but I like skinny. Like, really unhealthy skinny.
- King Richard: Now let me ask you one question. I've tried to be kind to you, have I not?
- King of Valencia: You pillaged our peaceful kingdom, killed half our army.
- King Richard: But I haven't killed you. I mean, think about it, I've killed a massive amount of people this week but I haven't killed you.
- King Richard: I want you to tell him this... I feel like you should be writing this down.
- Isabella: I will remember it.
- King Richard: It's a bit long. I'd really just be more comfortable if you wrote it down.
- Isabella: I will remember it.
- King of Valencia: Like a steel trap.
- Queen of Valencia: Always had a wonderful memory, this one.
- [singing]
- Isabella: Where is the gallant knight who stood for truth and right, the valiant dragonslayer Galavant? Where is his steely gaze, the abs the poets praise? What ever happened to that Galavant?
- Galavant: The man you're searching for lost all he loved and more, his hope, his pride, all sense of Galavant. Add to that losing streak a couple kegs a week plus twenty pounds - ta da!