- Piper Hart: [to her horror after retrieving her phone from Henry] You butt dialed Jana Tetrazzini!
- Henry Hart: So?
- Piper Hart: I HATE Jana Tetrazzini!
- Henry Hart: Then why do you keep her number in your phone?
- Piper Hart: [looking upon Henry as clueless] BECAUSE if she CALLS me, I need to know it's her SO I CAN IGNORE IT!
- Henry Hart: [as Piper storms out] Love you.
- Piper Hart: WHO CARES?
- Charlotte Page: Guys, Jasper keeps asking me questions about his personal hygiene.
- Ray Manchester: Ugh.
- Henry Hart: So?
- Charlotte Page: So you better get back to class before I tell him things he does not want to know.
- Ray Manchester: [standing in as a substitute teacher] Now then, class, who can tell me about the isosceles triangle?
- Jasper Dunlop: Sir? This is a history class.
- Ray Manchester: Who can tell me about the... history of the isosceles triangle?
- Henry Hart: Excuse me, Mr. "Gelding." Can I please talk to you out in the hall?
- Ray Manchester: I'm in the middle of a lesson.
- Henry Hart: I have a question about my personal hygiene!
- Ray Manchester: To the hall we go.
- [last lines]
- Henry Hart: Well, what'd you do with our regular teacher?
- Ray Manchester: I gave her a disease.
- Henry Hart: Oh, my God.
- Ray Manchester: Just chicken pox.
- Henry Hart: That's the worst KIND of pox!
- Ray Manchester: What about tuna pox?
- Henry Hart: There's no such thing as tuna pox!
- Henry Hart: So, Ortho IS the son of Drill Finger.
- Charlotte Page: I knew it! I knew it! I KNEW that boy was evil! I knew it!
- Henry Hart: Yeah, but did you know it?
- Charlotte Page: I did.
- [Ray drops Ortho's dad with a stun beam in front of the class]
- Ray Manchester: Ohhh, bad luck. It appears that Ortho's father is having a medical episode.
- Ortho: No, I think you did something to him. I'm calling my mom and then you'll be in big...
- [Henry drops Ortho with a stun beam from his watch]
- Henry Hart: Oh-oh, there goes Ortho.
- Ray Manchester: Good heavens. The medical problem must be genetic.
- Ray Manchester: But what are they up to?
- Ray Manchester: [sighs] Well, I guess I'm not gonna figure it out just by wearing a loud shirt and stroking my chin.
- Ray Manchester: Well...
- Henry Hart: Well...
- Ray Manchester: Well.
- Henry Hart: Well.
- Ray Manchester: You only do three wells.
- Henry Hart: Sorry.
- Ortho: Oh, I know all about Captain Man - and one day, hopefully, my father will take care of him.
- Henry Hart: What do you mean by that"?
- Charlotte Page: Take care of Captain Man - HOW?
- Ortho: I shouldn't say. We're still in the planning phase.
- Ray Manchester: Let's not make mumps out of marshmallows.
- Henry Hart: He also threatened you.
- Ray Manchester: Me? What'd that little marsh mump say?