- [last lines]
- Emily Sweeney: So, I hear you guys have been playing a little game.
- Howard Wolowitz: Well, um, we were just kidding around.
- Emily Sweeney: Well, you may think it's funny that Raj is sweet and sensitive, but I think it's sexy.
- [kisses Raj]
- Emily Sweeney: Ugh, why is there dog hair in your mouth?
- [first lines]
- Leonard Hofstadter: OK, we're headed out. See you later.
- Sheldon Cooper: I know. Before you leave, can you help me test these noise cancelling headphones?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, sure.
- Sheldon Cooper: [Sheldon puts on headphones] Go ahead.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hello, can you hear me?
- [Sheldon doesn't react]
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon, I haven't changed the filter in the water pitcher in two years.
- Penny: Uh, Bernadette's nickname for you is the Virgin Pina Colada.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Your George Lucas autograph is really a me autograph.
- Penny: Yeah, well, once I was too lazy to walk across the hall so I used your toothbrush.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Ooh, and at one time when you were asleep Amy totally took off her-
- [Sheldon takes off headphones]
- Leonard Hofstadter: And that's why you're the best roommate ever.
- Sheldon Cooper: Aaaaw. Now I'm sad I didn't hear it.
- Penny: So, whichever rep has the best sales for the quarter gets a trip for two to Hawaii.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: That would be so romantic for you and Leonard.
- Penny: Yeah, clearly you haven't seen him on the beach, walking around with his metal detector.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: If I were going to Hawaii, I'd spend all my time at the Keck Observatory. Did you know that the telescopes there have better resolution than the Hubble?
- Penny: Really?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [Amy nods]
- Penny: [to Bernadette] Wanna go to Hawaii?
- Sheldon Cooper: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze, it gets a food pellet.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers.
- Sheldon Cooper: And its last meal was a food pellet? You're a monster.
- Leonard Hofstadter: What is going on?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I need to keep my anxiety at the right level, so I'm using Darth Vader, the Joker and Godzilla's roar to keep me in that sweet spot. Yeah, I tried including Taylor Swift in the mix, but turned out I love her.
- Leonard Hofstadter: At least listen to it through headphones. I'm trying to sleep. Good night.
- Sheldon Cooper: Boy! Taylor was right; haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
- Sheldon Cooper: You sounded in distress. I was worried something unpleasant was happening to you. Like a murder, or spontaneous coitus with Leonard.
- Penny: Have fun.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I will. Nothing more fun than a paradigm-shifting evening of science.
- Penny: [to Leonard] And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower.
- Raj Koothrappali: Where's Sheldon?
- Penny: Date night.
- Leonard Hofstadter: That can't be much fun for Amy. You know, at work today he tried his first Red Bull?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: What happened?
- Leonard Hofstadter: He chased a squirrel around the quad for a while... and then threw up in my car.
- Penny: What exactly do you think goes on here?
- Sheldon Cooper: Conversations you wouldn't be comfortable having in front of the opposite sex, who has the best cervix? Which sanitary napkin is all the rage, men's buttocks and how you want to pad and squeeze them
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: We were talking about Penny's job
- Sheldon Cooper: And how difficult is to do when she's bloated cranky and crampy, continue
- Penny: We are just people, we talk about the same things you guys talk about
- Sheldon Cooper: You talk about if werewolves can swim? Leonard says yes, I say it depends on if the human could swim before he was bitten
- Penny: Let's just talk about our periods
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hold on, all cannines can swim, why would werewolves be any different?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: They're not a hundred per cent werewolf, they're part human, it's like comparing apples to oranges
- Sheldon Cooper: Thank you although in this case it'd be like comparing apples to were oranges who only turned on a full moon
- Raj Koothrappali: I think it's a little weird that you remember me saying all these things, Maybe the truth is you're jealous about my relationships.
- Howard Wolowitz: Uh, maybe I am. Who wouldn't want to be the girl, or possibly dog, to hear the words "You're so lucky, you have the shiniest hair."
- Leonard Hofstadter: That's a tough one, I know he brushes both of them
- Howard Wolowitz: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.
- Raj Koothrappali: Go ahead, make fun. You can't embarrass me. I've got a beautiful girlfriend and a dog who loves me so much, she drinks my bath water
- Howard Wolowitz: Okay. Who was he talking to, Emily or Cinnamon? "I want you to know the bed feels so lonely when you're not in it."
- Raj Koothrappali: [Leonard looks at Raj and starts chuckling] I may not be liking this game so much.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You don't need to drive yourself crazy in order to be productive.
- Sheldon Cooper: Or do I? Hmm? Sir Isaac Newton wrote his Principia while convinced he was an armadillo.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: That's not true.
- Sheldon Cooper: Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I have been hallucinating lately.