The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Maternal Combustion (2015)

Laurie Metcalf: Mary Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mary Cooper : When your mom gets back, I'm gonna need to apologize for the way I spoke to her.

  Penny : Well, come on, she did kinda start it.

  Mary Cooper : Doesn't matter. A good Christian would have turned the other cheek. On the other hand, a good Texan would have shot her, so I'll just split the difference.

• Sheldon Cooper : Leonard's mom is a renowned psychiatrist and woman of science. Can you please keep the Bible babble to yourself while she's here?

  Mary Cooper : Are you ashamed of me?

  Sheldon Cooper : Of course not. I love you. I'm just embarrassed by the things you believe, do and say.

  Mary Cooper : Well, I love you, too, my little bowl of lion chow.

• Mary Cooper : Well, I would have to say when he was thirteen and he tried to build a nuclear reaction in the tool shed.

  Sheldon Cooper : Ooh, this is a good one.

  Mary Cooper : Now, the first thing you need to know about Shelly is, ever since he was a little boy, he was always concerned with the well-being of others. And he didn't think it was fair for people to pay for electricity, so he was gonna power the entire town for free.

  Sheldon Cooper : Tell her about the uranium! Tell her about the uranium!

  Mary Cooper : Oh, well. Well, this is adorable. When he arranged to get some yellow-cake from Chad, I thought he was talking about twinkies from one of his friends.

  Sheldon Cooper : Yeah. But I wasn't, because I didn't have any friends.

  Mary Cooper : No. It turns out this little scallywag was trying to use my Visa card to buy uranium from an African warlord in the country of Chad.

• Mary Cooper : Interesting. You can believe that, but God filling an ark with animals two-by-two is nonsense.

  Sheldon Cooper : What did they feed the lions, Mother?

  Mary Cooper : The floating bodies of drowned sinners, of course.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Not once did my mother ever give me any love or affection for just being myself. I always had to earn it.

  Mary Cooper : Oh, Leonard, I'm sure she loves you very much. In her own cold godless way.

  Penny : Yeah, and you certainly don't have to earn my love.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Thank you.

  Penny : Of course you already knew that when you bought me this princess-cut drill bit.