- Sydney Birnbaum: Can I ask Chloe out on a date?
- Oliver Pook: [videotaping on cell phone] Ooo, here we go-o-o.
- Henry Hart: [a little confused] You wanna ask out Chloe?
- Sydney Birnbaum: Well, yeah. I mean, come on, you haven't hung out with her in months.
- Oliver Pook: She's not your property.
- Henry Hart: Did I say Chloe was my property?
- Oliver Pook: You say it with your eyes.
- Henry Hart: Why are you shooting video?
- Oliver Pook: I thought you and Sydney were gonna fight.
- Henry Hart: [walking towards the camera] Maybe... you and me are gonna fight.
- Oliver Pook: [running away spooked] Teacher!
- [Captain Man shoots Henry from behind]
- Henry Hart: [only slightly affected] Nuh-uh, dude, ha-ha. You're gonna have to zap me harder than that.
- Captain Man: [zapping Henry two more times] Come on, kid, I'm trying to help you. Just drop.
- Henry Hart: Ha-ha. Sorry. Three little laser shots can't hurt ME.
- [five more shots]
- Henry Hart: Ohhhh, that did it.
- [drops into Captain Man's arms]
- [Henry has Chloe visit his bedroom so he can apologize]
- Henry Hart: I, uh... The reason I acted all crazy at the restaurant...
- Chloe Hartman: Yeah?
- Henry Hart: See... I had a weird reaction to this special medicine, these pills I take for my... my feet.
- Chloe Hartman: Why do you take pills for your feet?
- Henry Hart: 'Cause I have... Feetal Fungal Syndrome. FFS.
- Chloe Hartman: FFS.
- Henry Hart: Mm.
- Chloe Hartman: That... that's really a thing?
- Henry Hart: Yeah - but don't look it up.
- [last lines]
- Jasper Dunlop: [bursting into Henry's bedroom] IT'S ME!
- Henry Hart: Jasper? What're YOU doin' here?
- Jasper Dunlop: Guess where I'VE been? The supermarket. Guess what I brought?
- Jasper Dunlop: [pulls out a slab of raw steak] This meat!
- Henry Hart: Look, I'm really sorry that...
- [Jasper slaps Henry across the face with his meat and makes a victorious exit]
- Chloe Hartman: You just got beef-slapped.
- Henry Hart: Haaard!