- Oscar: [in song] Woh-woh-woh-woh oh little reindeer in the Bronx, woh-woh-woh-woh she's waiting tables and punching clocks.
- John Mulaney: You wrote that?
- Oscar: Well, it's the story of a reindeer from the Bronx who dreams of being on Broadway and eventually dies from sleeping pills. So, it kind of wrote itself.
- Lou Cannon: I also secured the rights to a sexy holiday classic. You know "Baby, It's Cold Outside"?
- John Mulaney: Oh, of course.
- Lou Cannon: Well I couldn't get that one. But I did get the rights to another somewhat rape-y sounding Christmas song, "Mr. Snowman Is Mixing You a Drink."