Galavant (TV Series)

Dungeons and Dragon Lady (2015)

Mallory Jansen: Queen Madalena

Photos 

Quotes 

• Isabella : I had a deal with King Richard.

  Madalena : My dear girl, I am not King Richard. But I will enjoy killing the girl who tried to eat my leftover man mutton.

• Galavant : We were gonna live in a cottage by the sea. We were gonna make love, plant a garden, have children. I was gonna sing songs of your beauty.

  Madalena : Oh, Gal, that sounds awful. Look around! I live in a castle! And you know what I've learned about myself? I really like stuff. I mean, why would I give all this up to get fat and pregnant and grow my own food?

• Madalena : Dance with me! Can't you see how freakin' gorgeous we look? Can't you feel the frantic beat of our hearts as our various parts rub with such delicious friction?

• Madalena : I have a plan that will allow me to remain as queen, and you will be well-taken care of as my... special companion.

  Galavant : Your boy-toy, you mean? Is that how you see me? Hmm? As some well-groomed, ruggedly-handsome yet oddly delicate-featured plaything?

  Madalena : Yeah.

• Isabella : Queen Madalena, you have the jewel and you have Galavant, you must release my parents.

  Madalena : Must I?

  Isabella : Yes, you have to.

  Madalena : Have I?

  Isabella : Yes.

  Madalena : Really?

  Isabella : Why are you just repeating everything I say as a question?

  Madalena : Am I just repeating everything you say as a question?

  Isabella : You don't hear it?

• Galavant : Madalena, I've got something to say and I've come a really, really long way to say it.

  [sappy music swells and she realizes he's about to burst into song] 

  Madalena : Oh, no.

  Galavant : [singing]  I want you, I need you, you cut me and I bleed you! You're like some kind of sonnet, all I want to do is read you. And I love you.

  Madalena : I know.

  Galavant : I mean I love you.

  Madalena : Yes, thanks.

  Galavant : I said I love you.

  Madalena : You did.

  Galavant : And now don't you wanna tell me something too?

  [the music switches to a tango] 

  Madalena : I love you!... as much as someone like me can love anyone.

  Galavant : Huh?

  Madalena : I mean I love how we make people stare, we're quite the stunning pair.

  Galavant : In other words you love me?

  Madalena : As much as someone like me can love anyone.

• Madalena : I love how when we hit the hay, it's more than just okay.

  Galavant : Right!

  Madalena : I'd absolutely say more like middling to fair.

  Galavant : Yeah! Wait, what?

• Madalena : Gareth, cut her face and torture the rest.

  Gareth : Excuse me?

  Madalena : I said torture them. Is there a problem?

  Gareth : No, there's not a problem. I like torturing, I'm pretty good at it. I once kept a guy alive for a week and he was just a head and a finger. But that order came from the king, and I serve my king.

  Madalena : Your king is weak, Gareth, you know this. He cries like a baby and cares like a woman, makes decoupage footstools as a hobby.

• Madalena : You're a dog, Gareth, and a dog needs a strong master. Now sic 'em.

• Isabella : The point is, Queen Madalena, you have the jewel and you have Galavant. You must release my parents!

  Madalena : Must I?

  Isabella : Yes. You have to!

  Madalena : Have I?

  Isabella : Yes...

  Madalena : Really?

  Isabella : Why are you just repeating everything I say as a question?

  Madalena : Am I just repeating everything you say as a question?

  Isabella : You don't hear it?

  Galavant : You're sort of doing it... a little bit...