- Galavant: [drunk] Hi, pretty Izzy! Oh, you're so pretty. But not just your face, your brain! It's like your beautiful brain exploded all over your face.
- [singing]
- Galavant, King Richard: Oh! We're off on a secret mission! We've got us a secret plan!
- Galavant: We're going to go and slay your bro.
- King Richard: As quietly as we can.
- Galavant, King Richard: We'll sneak up and then surprise him before he has time to think!
- King Richard: We're off on our way!
- Galavant: But first, another drink!
- [singing]
- Jester: Our season ends right there with questions everywhere, like will the princess waste her whole life waiting? Will Gareth and the Queen rule the entire scene? Will all this singing kill our Neilsen Ratings? Sid, the peasants, the entire crew, will they be back for season 2? Who knows! But if there are more shows, then off our hero goes, and so the legend grows, a legend known as Galavant!
- King Richard: Gareth, why do you always have to poop on the party?
- Gareth: Maybe because you've got to fight me to the death in the morning. Or maybe that your brother has decided that I'm gonna be his champion and for the first time ever, you've decided to fight one of your own battles, and your whole kingdom's at stake. Does that ring any bells?
- King Richard: Oh, are you worried about me, Gare-bear?
- Gareth: Don't call me that!
- King Richard: Well, I'm so sorry if I upset you the night before you probably kill me!
- [King Richard tells Galavant that he's never slept with Queen Madelena]
- Galavant: Are we talking about the same Madelena?
- King Richard: Yes!
- Galavant: But you were married. You didn't... insist?
- King Richard: I'm not an animal! I mean, sure, I'll kidnap a woman and force her to marry me, but after that I'm all about a woman's rights. I'm a modern thirteenth century man.
- Gareth: I've told you your whole life to grow a pair and you just won't listen. And now you're gonna die for it. Even though I'm the one who's gonna kill you, it's not my fault! It's not my fault! I warned you!
- [Gareth locks the King in a dungeon cell and storms away]
- King Richard: I know you did, my friend.
- Galavant: Goodnight. Unless you wanna get a drink.
- King Richard: Oh, that's an interesting proposition. A little guy time between frenemies burnt by the same flame. Bros before hos, all that.