- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: [meaning the cat sleeping on the new couch] So Larry gets to use the couch but I don't?
- Cameron Tucker: Well, Larry is white.
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: But you chose me.
- Jay Pritchett: Look, I know you're not a dog person.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: I don't mind dogs. I'm just not a dog person person.
- Phil Dunphy: We're gonna have this boy over for dinner, and I'll serve a big heaping plate of I-told-you-so.
- Haley Dunphy: And then we'll serve unicorn burgers and magic beans and I'll bring my boyfriend Bigfoot.
- Claire Dunphy: Still better than Dylan.
- Cameron Tucker: I don't know how straight people do this.
- Mitchell Pritchett: Probably without those hand gestures.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: This is what I'm wearing to the dog party.
- Jay Pritchett: Well, be careful. Most of these people are single.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: Why am I not surprised?