Mom (TV Series)

Forged Resumes and the Recommended Dosage (2014)

Anna Faris: Christy Plunkett

Quotes 

• Bonnie : I have great news!

  Christy : You found my real mother?

  Bonnie : Yeah, she doesn't want to see you. I got a job!

  Christy : For cash?

  Bonnie : No!

  [holds up key ring] 

  Christy : They're paying you in keys?

  Bonnie : No, I'm the manager of a building, and they're paying me with an apartment rent free, we have a home!

  Christy : Are you kidding me?... That's great!

  [they grab each other and jump up and down screaming] 

  Christy : So do you know anything about managing a building?

  Bonnie : Not a thing!

  Christy : [they stop]  Oh... that's okay! Let's jump again!

  [they do] 

• Christy : Violet, you're a smart girl, you can do anything.

  Violet : Except make you stop talking!

• Marjorie : [breaks up Christy and Violet fighting]  What is going on?

  Violet : Mom wants me to have a great life. How can I have *any* kind of life when I *abandoned* my baby and I don't even know if she's okay?

  Christy : Oh, baby!

  [hugs her, whispers to Marjorie] 

  Christy : I wouldn't have tackled her if I knew.

• Jeff : [entering a huge room with a crib and toys]  And this is the nursery.

  Suzanne : Please excuse the mess, it's still in the works.

  Christy : Wow, when I was a baby I slept in a shopping cart.

• Christy : [congested voice]  I'm sorry I'm keeping you awake, antihistamine stopped working.

  Bonnie : How much did you take?

  Christy : The recommended dose.

  Bonnie : What kind of alcoholic are you? Whatever the box says, triple it.

• Christy : [to Marjorie's cat who wants her dinner]  Go eat vomit.