- Auggie Matthews: Uncle Eric, how come you look like this?
- Cory Matthews: Because they elected him mayor.
- Riley Matthews: Who would do that?
- Topanga Matthews: The good people of Stupidtown.
- Eric Matthews: It's not pronounced Stupidtown!
- Topanga Matthews: How is it pronounced?
- Eric Matthews: St. Upidtown!
- Topanga Matthews: Oh. How St. Upid of me.
- Eric Matthews: I have been summoned. Why have I been brought here?
- Topanga Matthews: Because Cory thinks when it comes to helping people, you somehow turn into a genius.
- Riley Matthews: I'm in a fight with my best friend.
- Eric Matthews: There will be no losing friends. Lose one friend. Lose all friends. Lose yourself.
- [Farkle enters the classroom and sees 'Belgium 1831' up on the blackboard]
- Farkle Minkus: Yeah, no chance.
- [wipes out the content with a sponge]
- Cory Matthews: You got this?
- Eric Matthews: Yeah, the people elected me mayor because they trust me with their issues.
- Riley Matthews: You mean political issues?
- Eric Matthews: No, don't know anything about those. No, they trust me with their people issues. Which it turns out everybody has, and they all seem to show up right about now. The enemy is not each other, guys. You're all going through the same thing.
- Cory Matthews: It's part of growing up.
- Riley Matthews: I'm a klutz.
- Maya Hart: I'm a pancake.
- Farkle Minkus: Squeak.
- Lucas Friar: Freak.
- Isaiah 'Zay' Babineaux: [about him being called 'Flatbutt'] That's why it hurts to sit!
- Topanga Matthews: I think it's about going through life with the right attitude, girls. I mean, I think we need to recognize people for who they are, not what they look like. Because it's only our contribution to the world and to each other that gives us any real stature.
- Maya Hart: That's easy for you to say. Everybody looks up to you. Because you're this brilliant, strong, Amazon warrior.
- [stands up to reveal her true height]
- Topanga Matthews: Oh, really?
- Maya Hart: Whoa, you're a shrimp.
- Topanga Matthews: Yeah.
- Maya Hart: You've always been like this?
- Topanga Matthews: Yeah.
- Maya Hart: You're not just doing this for me?
- Topanga Matthews: No, Maya, this is me.
- Maya Hart: But, you're the fiercest woman I know.
- Topanga Matthews: And so are you.
- [hugs Maya]
- Topanga Matthews: Honey, a couple of short stacks of pancakes like us can do just fine.
- Riley Matthews: And a Superklutz!
- [Riley hugs them, and all three girls fall down]
- Eric Matthews: Now, which one of you is Riley's friend Malisha?
- Maya Hart: It's Maya.
- Eric Matthews: Oh, okay. So, what are you fighting about?
- Maya Hart: She didn't take my side.
- Riley Matthews: I couldn't take her side based on what was said, which is the problem with this whole thing, 'cause Maya is making too big of a deal of what was said.
- Eric Matthews: Uh-huh. Okay. Okay. Now, which one was she?
- Topanga Matthews: Cory was right to have faith in you. You really are a mature *normal* human being.
- Eric Matthews: I AM NOT!
- Topanga Matthews: Never mind.
- Farkle Minkus: You know, I've never admitted this before, but sometimes I wonder if my desire for world domination actually comes from deep down, feeling like I'm Squeak the Mouse.
- Lucas Friar: What makes you feel like that?
- Farkle Minkus: You do.
- Lucas Friar: How?
- Farkle Minkus: Just by being alive, you freak!
- Lucas Friar: I'm a freak?
- Farkle Minkus: Look at you! Look at your freak face and your freak hair, you make me sick!
- Lucas Friar: Hey, you think this is easy? You think it's easy being me every day?
- Farkle Minkus, Riley Matthews, Maya Hart: Shut up!
- Lucas Friar: Yeah, okay.
- Isaiah 'Zay' Babineaux: One dollar to look at the freak.
- Lucas Friar: Oh, be quiet, Flatbutt.