- Schwoz: [reading emails] "Captain Man, the only difference between you and a box of poop is the box."
- Henry Hart's Deep Voice: [singing] "I'm a little pea pod, green and flat?" Ho-ho, "Squeeze me in the middle and squirt out my beans."
- Lumpkin: I got it! I guessed the number!
- Piper Hart: [snatching away his computer] I got it! I guessed the number!
- Charlotte Page: Okay, what do people wanna know MOST about Captain Man?
- Schwoz: Vhat he vears under his Man suit?
- Piper Hart: You let him get away!
- Captain Man: Did I?
- Captain Man: [speaking into a device] Override.
- Henry Hart's Deep Voice: Reverse suckage.
- Captain Man: Double power.
- Dennis: OKAY, NOBODY MOVE!
- Henry Hart's Deep Voice: He's got the wiener!
- [Mr. and Mrs. Yoshda laugh at watching iCarly]
- Henry Hart: I'm just really worried that Jasper's gonna win the contest.
- Charlotte Page: He's not gonna win the contest.
- Henry Hart: He's been sitting in his basement for the last four day trying to guess the number.
- Charlotte Page: Dude, everyone is Swellview's trying to guess that number.
- Henry Hart: Yeah, but if Jasper DOES win, he's gonna be down in the Man Cave with me for, like, an hour.
- Charlotte Page: So?
- Henry Hart: [alarmed in a loud voice] What if he figures out that...
- [musical cues plays]
- Henry Hart: [to musical cue operator] SHHH!
- [musical cue cuts off]
- Henry Hart: [quietly] What if he figures out that I'm Kid Danger?
- Schwoz: Hey, if ve get pulled over by a cop, svitch places with me real quick, okay?
- Charlotte Page: [alarmed] Why?
- Schwoz: Because I'm not legally allowed to drive.
- Charlotte Page: You don't have a driver's license?
- Schwoz: No, I do, I do, but it says I haf to be vearing my glasses 'cause I can't see at night.
- Charlotte Page: You can't see?
- Schwoz: No, I CAN see - like, I know we're in a car.
- Charlotte Page: Can you see those trash cans?
- Schwoz: Eh?
- [crash]
- Charlotte Page: I'll try to warn you SOONER next time.
- Schwoz: Yeah, I'd appreciate it!
- Mr. Gooch: [reading one of Captain Man's emails] "Yo, Captain Man, why don't you..." My religious beliefs prevent me from reading the rest out loud.
- Piper Hart: [at odds with Henry's/Kid Danger's added disguise] What's wrong with your voice?
- Jasper Dunlop: And your face?
- Captain Man: I, ya.. He, ya...
- Henry Hart's Deep Voice: [quickly] I went through puberty.