Conan (TV Series)

Kevin Hart/Roman Reigns/Hippo Campus (2015)

Conan O'Brien: Self - Host

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Quotes 

• Conan O'Brien : Last week, it was a big story, Starbucks launched a campaign called "Race Together", uh, where they encouraged their baristas to engage in conversations about race. Now, there was so much criticism of the "Race Together" campaign, Starbucks has already pulled the plug. Yeah. And I just want to take a second here at the top of the show and say I for one am very disappointed in Starbucks for giving up on the fight to promote racial harmony. In fact, I've decided to pick up a struggle they so quickly abandoned by urging all of us to engage in a lively discussion on the state of race relations in America. After all the sacrifice embodied over the years by the Civil Rights Movement, it's our responsibility as Americans and as humans to pick up the torch and march on. Like Dr. Martin Luther King, I too dream of equality for all my black brethren, because I believe...

  Mike Merritt : [inner monologue]  Oh, please. What does Conan know about Civil Rights? His version of struggle is taking off his yoga pants. Conan is whiter than a tour of Orange County on a Segway scooter. Conan thinks Selma, Alabama is a point guard in the WNBA. Conan's so white, when he met Usher at the Emmys, he asked him to lead him to his seat. Just listen to that bleached cow skull. When Conan told me he had an African friend, it turned out to be Oscar Pistorius. Conan's so white, he thought the Ferguson riots were about Craig Ferguson leaving "Late Night". Is that human Altoid STILL talking?

  Conan O'Brien : ...So in closing, as the great Maya Angelou once said, try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. We are that rainbow. Thank you.

  [audience cheers]