- Charlotte Page: Henry, I know you. You want both girls. You want to have your cake and kiss it, too.
- Kid Danger: [looking through binoculars] Ah, great. Now their elbows are touching. What do they think this is, their honeymoon?
- Kid Danger: Stop being so paranoid.
- Captain Man: Oh, easy for you to say. You don't have a crazy old lady running around whacking YOU with an umbrella.
- Captain Man: You see, climate is like our weather, and when it comes to weather, last thing you want is change because change is bad. Now, sometimes change is good, like changing your underwear. That helps everyone.
- Man in Park: This is a park, not some kissatorium!
- Captain Man: [dedication speech] Bathrooms go by many names, such as the restroom, the john, the head, the potty, the loo, the toidy, Tinkle Town, poo corner, the lavatory, the royal flush...