- Henry Hart: Don't you see? Sometimes kids need to experience faailure in order to grow and learn how to be...
- [Mrs. Weiner shuts off the lights to silence Henry]
- [Ray catches Schwoz using a B.E.D. - a Beard Enhancement Device]
- Schwoz: No, it's not. I svear. I svear to the gods it's not. I svear on my life. I svear on Charlotte's life. I'm telling the truth.
- Ray Manchester: No, you're lying!
- Schwoz: Ah, so vhat?
- Ms. Weiner: Henry, I assume you know the problem.
- Henry Hart: Yeah. You always freeze frame on my face looking hideous.
- Henry Hart: Congratulations, you get this useless award.
- [hands Ms. Sherwood a small trophy]
- Henry Hart: Congratulations, you get this pointless award.
- [hands Mr. Berman a small trophy]
- Henry Hart: Congratulations, you get this disgusting award.
- [hands Ms. Weiner a small trophy]
- Henry Hart: Bleh-la-la-la-la! See you, STAB.
- Henry Hart: So... what's our goal?
- [finally, a girl raises her hand]
- Sophie: To get... less worse?
- Henry Hart: Sure, okay, I'll take that.
- Piper Hart: [continuing to argue] Henry!
- Henry Hart: I have to pay attention to the opening of our front door.
- Henry Hart: I... I was just trying to teach the kids to play better and win.
- Ms. Sherwood: Well, that's not what a good coach does.
- Henry Hart: I think it is.
- Ms. Weiner: The goal is for all the children to have the exact same experience.
- Mr. Berman: o, please, no more shouting or criticizing.
- Ms. Sherwood: Only say nice positive things.