- Henry Hart: Listen... i owe you an apology.
- Jasper Dunlop: What for?
- Henry Hart: For... Well, I mean, you got all the attention for stopping that motorcycle guy, and... I don't know, I guess it made me feel...
- Jasper Dunlop: [astonished] Jealous?
- Henry Hart: Yeah.
- Jasper Dunlop: Wow. I-I mean, don't feel bad.
- Henry Hart: Hm.
- Jasper Dunlop: [encouragingly] 'Cause maybe one day... you'll do something that matters.
- Trent Overunder: Jasper, you impress me.
- Jasper Dunlop: I do?
- Trent Overunder: Absolutely. I'd wear a t-shirt with your face on it.
- Sydney Birnbaum: [rushing in] Hey! Hey, everybody, check it out! Jasper is on the news!
- Henry Hart: Wait. Why is Jasper on the news?
- Sydney Birnbaum: 'Cause he caught that motorcycle guy yesterday.
- Henry Hart: Oh...
- Oliver Pook: [rushing in] Hey, guys! Jasper's on the news!
- Sydney Birnbaum: I already told 'em.
- Oliver Pook: Dang it, Sydney!
- [runs off]
- Sydney Birnbaum: Wait. Where are you going?
- Oliver Pook: Don't act like you care!
- Sydney Birnbaum: Wait! I have your medicine!
- Captain Man: Son, we all owe you a big wet thank you.
- Captain Man: [to henry] Don't we, boy-I-don't-know.
- Henry Hart: Wet?
- Ms. Shapen: Jasper, I need you to get the flag and put it out in front of the school.
- Jasper Dunlop: Why?
- Ms. Shapen: Because there's nothing out there now and you can't pledge allegiance to a hole in a pole.
- Charlotte Page: You know, Jasper's your friend. You shouldn't be jealous of him.
- Henry Hart: I'm not jealous.
- Charlotte Page: Yes you are. You're jelly of Jasper.
- Henry Hart: I'm not jelly of Jasper. This is about me wanting more people to pay attention to me INSTEAD of Jasper.
- Charlotte Page: All right, I'm goin' upstairs.
- Henry Hart: Why?
- Charlotte Page: 'Cause YOU'RE not upstairs.
- Sydney Birnbaum: [watching a live police chase] I bet they don't catch him.
- Oliver Pook: I bet they do.
- Sydney Birnbaum: Would it KILL you to agree with me ONCE?
- Oliver Pook: You're so emotional.
- Sydney Birnbaum: I'm not!
- Oliver Pook: You need a massage.
- Dirk: You sold me a defective goldfish! Here's the receipt.
- Chet: The goldfish wan't defective.
- Dirk: He's dead, man! i showed you his limp, lifeless carcass!
- Chet: He was a healthy fish when you took him out of this store.
- Dirk: Are you sayin' it was MY fault?
- Chet: No, no, no...
- Dirk: Are you accusing me of murderin' Timmy?
- Chet: [terrified] Who's Timmy?
- Dirk: My dead goldfish, man! try and keep up!