- Piper Hart: I'm making dinner, and everyone's gonna put it in their mouth, chew it, swallow it, and LOVE IT!
- Ray Manchester: Ah, I am Schwoz! I am Schwoz! Dirty, dirty Schwoz! Ah, hello, Mr. Soap! You're going to go on a discoosting adventure.
- Henry Hart: Hey, Ray.
- Charlotte Page: Hi, Ray.
- Ray Manchester: "Hey, Ray?" "Hi, Ray?" That's all you guys are gonna say? You don't see this gigantic cannon?
- Henry Hart: Aw, hey, cannon.
- Charlotte Page: Hi, cannon.
- Jasper Dunlop: There's nobody funnier than my cuz.
- Dex Dunlop: Thanks. Comin' from you, that means SO little.
- Mr. Hart: [over the phone] Henry, if you're not home for dinner in exactly twenty-four minutes, I'll tell your mother you said she smells bad.
- Henry Hart: What? I never said that about Mom!
- Mr. Hart: Hey, Honey! Guess what Henry just said about you!
- Henry Hart: Okay, I'm on my way!
- [Henry breaths fire when he laughs]
- Charlotte Page: How is this "awesome?"
- Ray Manchester: Because... now, whenever Henry and I fight bad guys, if one of them pulls a weapon, all Henry's gotta do is be all "Hahahaha," pyoogh, and the bad guys'll be like "Ahh, my face is melting! Why did I commit this crime?" And I'll be like, "Exactly."
- Henry Hart: O-oh, yeah, but what if I'm out with a girl and I laugh, and then she's all "Oh, no! Why did I go out with this guy? He's shooting FIRE AT MY FACE!"
- Charlotte Page: He is right. Girls don't like that.