- Linda Martin: God cast you out because He needed you to do the most difficult of jobs. It was a gift.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Gift? He shunned me. He vilified me. He made me a torturer! Can you even begin to fathom what it was like? Eons spent providing a place for dead mortals to punish themselves? I mean, why do they blame me for all their little failings? As if I'd spent my days sitting on their shoulder, forcing them to commit acts they'd otherwise find repulsive. "Oh, the Devil made me do it." I HAVE NEVER MADE ANY ONE OF THEM DO ANYTHING. Never.
- [about the dead security guard]
- Lucifer Morningstar: Getting murdered is probably the most exciting thing that ever happened to him.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [on stakeout] This is the longest I've sat in a parked car and not had sex.
- Chloe Decker: Ew.
- Chloe Decker: Asking the obvious here, but was your stuff illegal contraband, too?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Define "Illegal."
- Linda: This loss brings up an issue that we've been skirting since we began our work together.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Right.
- Linda: Your identity.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [wry laugh] It's still the Devil, darling.
- Linda: Yes, but who are you trying so hard to become?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Nobody. I'm completely unbecoming.
- [chuckles]
- Lucifer Morningstar: Why do they blame me for all their little failings? As if I'd spent my days sitting on their shoulder, forcing them to commit acts they'd otherwise find repulsive. "Oh, the Devil made me do it ." I have never made any one of them do anything. Never.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I've come back to help. Any leads yet?
- Chloe Decker: I need your help like I need a third boob.
- Linda Martin: So your items were never recovered?
- Lucifer Morningstar: No.
- Linda Martin: Earlier, you said that the items weren't that important. Yet now, you seem very upset that they're gone.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, I'm a walking paradox. What can I say?
- Trixie: What are you doing here? And why are you wearing a pillow?
- Dan Espinoza: Well, those are great questions, and I'm gonna answer both of them later. But right now, I need you to do something for me.
- Trixie: What?
- Dan Espinoza: Get me some clothes, and don't tell Mommy that I'm here.
- Trixie: I thought you said lying was a bad thing.
- Dan Espinoza: Hey, Monkey. Do you remember when we had that talk and we said that lying is a really bad thing? Well, some of your birthday cake is missing. Now, I didn't eat it, and we know Mommy didn't eat it, so... is there something you want to tell us?
- Trixie: I ate it. But Lucifer said it was okay.
- Lucifer Morningstar: You can't enjoy this. This sitting around endlessly, waiting for something to happen.
- Chloe Decker: You know, if sitting here not being entertained is so terrible, then maybe it's a sign you should be somewhere else.