- Penny Hofstadter: Amy got her ears pierced, she broke up with Sheldon, and she made us eat penis cookies.
- Sheldon Cooper: Are you all up on your yellow fever inoculations?
- Howard Wolowitz: You don't need yellow fever shots to go to Mexico.
- Sheldon Cooper: You can never be too careful. I had mine last year before going to EPCOT.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: In the spirt of the bachelorette party, I baked cookies shaped like male genitals.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, Amy, you didn't have... Wow! That is anatomical!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Thank you. The veins are blue gummy worms.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Oh, look. Jewish and gentile.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I had some dough left over.
- Howard Wolowitz: I bet he picked up a lot of cute grad students in this bad boy.
- Sheldon Cooper: And talked about physics with them!
- Howard Wolowitz: There's something about this van I think you'll find interesting.
- Sheldon Cooper: Does it run on syphilis?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Come on. Leonard's doing bachelor stuff. You sure we can't take you to a strip club?
- Penny Hofstadter: No, if I wanna see a naked dancing man I just flush the toilet while Leonard's in the shower.
- Sheldon Cooper: It's bad enough I'm being taken against my will. I don't see why it has to be in some hippie's mobile sex dungeon.
- Sheldon Cooper: Are you really going to let them take you in a van to an undisclosed location?
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh, you're coming too.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh? And how are you going to get me into that van?
- [Cut to Sheldon tied and blindfolded as he's carried into the van by Leonard and Howard]
- Sheldon Cooper: Put me down! This is ridiculous!
- Howard Wolowitz: I told you we should have put a gag in his mouth.
- Raj Koothrappali: And I told you he bit me!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: If my mother could see me now, she'd send me to the sin closet.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: That's a joke, right?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: The joke was on her. I could still watch TV through the slats.
- Leonard Hofstadter: If there was a hidden compartment, don't you think you'd be stuffed in it by now?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon had this clause in the relationship agreement forbidding cosmetic surgery unless it's to look like a Klingon.
- Penny Hofstadter: Before I made that call, my pig was alive and happy, rolling around in the mud. Now he's illegally buried in our back yard next to my great grandmother.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Really, they didn't eat him?
- Penny Hofstadter: No, he was a beloved member of the family.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: The breakfast meat family?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Amy, I noticed your status still says "in a relationship" on Facebook.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You're right. I should probably let all of my Facebook friends know. Penny, I'm no longer in a relationship.