- Henry Hart: Dad's not here.
- Piper Hart: Why not?
- Henry Hart: He went to play golf.
- Piper Hart: Ugh. Why?
- Henry Hart: 'Cause, it's Saturday and he's a dad. What else is he gonna do?
- Jasper Dunlop: Okay, what was the coolest game we ever played when we were little?
- Henry Hart: Uhh, Booger Tag?
- Jasper Dunlop: No.
- Henry Hart: Kick Balls?
- Jasper Dunlop: No. Hide and Seek.
- Henry Hart: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha-ha, those were fun times... hidin'... seekin'.
- Jasper Dunlop: Well, the cool new thing NOW is for people our age to play Ultimate Hide and Seek, uh, by using our phones to send video clues.
- Henry Hart: That's the "cool" new thing?
- Jasper Dunlop: Yeah!
- Henry Hart: Who told you that?
- Jasper Dunlop: [hesitating] Doesn't matter.
- Henry Hart: Was it your mom?
- Jasper Dunlop: IT DOESN'T MATTER!
- Charlotte Page: Oh, well, I'm so sorry I suggested that it might be a little dangerous to send someone 300 years back in time to get some stupid ancient bird so we can cure your sister's Ox Pox, which was caused by this freak's comodio sassafras-contaminated cookies! Yeah, I'M the crazy one here.
- [aiming to retrieve Captain Man from the past, the time machine snatches Ray from the future instead]
- Future Ray: [gasps] Henry! Ha ha! You're a... you're a boy again. Ha!
- Future Ray: [gasps] And President Charlotte, heh-ha, you look just like you used to! And Schwoz! You're a man again!
- Ray Manchester: Hey... I'm sorry for your loss.
- Henry Hart: What?
- Ray Manchester: Piper - she was a sweet little girl.
- Henry Hart: Okay, first - no she wasn't... Ah, can we please stop talking about her in the past tense?
- Ray Manchester: How could you give Henry a cookie contaminated with comodium acetate?
- Schwoz: I'm sorry! It looks exactly like sugar, and I keep it in the kitchen... right next to the sugar.
- Ray Manchester: Well, where'd you get THAT idea - poorjudgment.gov?
- Henry Hart: Hey. What's up, cookie? Are you ready to be chewed?
- Jasper Dunlop: [entering] Hey, Hen! Whatcha doin'?
- Henry Hart: Ah, I'm just talkin' to this cookie I'm about to eat.
- Jasper Dunlop: [playing Ultimate Hide and Seek] I'm not in a bush nor by a tree, but where I be, those things I see. Now seek me!
- [Jasper hangs up]
- Henry Hart: [to himself] I gotta get him a girlfriend.
- Captain Man: Man, Alaska be cold!
- Henry Hart: Well, I told you to take a coat.
- Captain Man: Ooo, sorry, Mom.
- Henry Hart: Nah, you WISH I was your mom.