Crashing (TV Series)

Episode #1.2 (2016)

Adrian Scarborough: Colin

Quotes 

• Colin : [Melody and Colin are lunching at "We Don't Give a Fork," the no-cutlery restaurant. Throughout this scene they have food all over their hands from scooping it to eat]  I will continue to live with my wife and her lover until they...

  Melody : Have sex in the bath while you're shaving your face?

  Colin : That would do it, yes.

  Melody : I think you should live with me. Just for a bit. I think you would like being painted. I'd be generous with your penis.

  Colin : OK. I don't think this... I'm not...

  Melody : I don't want anything weird from you! I want to get to know you, I want to paint you, I want to make love to you. I want to be your friend! What do you want?

  Colin : [Looking down at his bowl and food-smeared hands]  I want a fork.

  Melody : I'll fork you.

• Colin : [Colin and Melody are seated for lunch at the café where Anthony is serving. The place is called "We Don't Give a Fork" as sign on the window and on Anthony's shirt]  Can we please have some cutlery?

  Anthony : You've already got it. Hold out your hands.

  [Anthony places Colin's hands in the bowl of food] 

  Colin : Aargh!

  Anthony : We're a no-cutlery restaurant. It's a contemporary interpretation of the traditional North African hand-to-mouth dining etiiquette.

  Colin : I'd rather just have some cutlery.

  Anthony : We don't give a fork.

  [Beat] 

  Anthony : They make us say that.

  [We read the same phrase from the logo on Anthony's shirt] 

  Colin : Very cool. Thank you.

  [Melody licks food from her fingers. She licks from her elbow up to her hand. Colin just watches]