- Henry Hart: C'mon, it's gonna be great.
- Ray Manchester: Oh, that's exactly what you said when you talked me into eatin' one of those women's energy bars. Then I couldn't stop reading books about princesses!
- Mrs. Birch: [laughing as Ray and Henry have trouble answering a simple question] You two really are clowns.
- Ray Manchester: [insulted] Thanks a lot.
- Henry Hart: [insulted] Yeah, okay.
- Jasper Dunlop: [reporting for work] Guess what I'm wearin'.
- Ray Manchester: [greatly put upon] A goofy tie?
- Jasper Dunlop: [pointing to hips] No, what I'm wearin' down HERE.
- Ray Manchester: Son, I, uh... don't wanna know what...
- Jasper Dunlop: [hoisting up his own underwear] CAPTAIN MANDERPANTS!
- Ray Manchester: Henry...
- Henry Hart: [levelly with grit teeth to Jasper] Put your underwear back in your pants. You're making him uncomfortable.
- Piper Hart: [as Jasper throughly examines the finata for a price tag] We don't care if it's a boy or a girl.
- Ray Manchester: We've got a crime to thwart...
- Henry Hart: ...at the Swellview Airport.
- Jasper Dunlop: Whoa. Do you guys, like, plan those rhymes?
- Henry Hart: Uh, no. No.
- Ray Manchester: No. They're super organic.
- Henry Hart: Char, will you tell Ray that Jasper workin' at Junk-N-Stuff isn't gonna be a problem?
- Charlotte Page: I can't tell lies before breakfast.
- Jasper Dunlop: Hey, I work here now, so you have to be nice to me.
- Piper Hart: No, I'm here as a customer, so you have to be nice to ME.
- Jasper Dunlop: No.
- Piper Hart: THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
- Jasper Dunlop: Yes, ma'am.
- Henry Hart: [noticing Jasper's bucket-print tie] Why you wearin' a tie?
- Jasper Dunlop: Oh, 'cause it's my first day at work and I wanna make a good impression.
- Henry Hart: Take off the tie.
- Trent Overunder: Okay, this just in: Captain Man and Kid Danger have stopped a criminal who was trying to smuggle a container of highly aggressive bugs called Zom-bees, insects that attack humans by flying into their ears then feeding on their brain matter.
- Mary Gaperman: O.M.G., they eat your brain?
- Trent Overunder: Don't worry, Mary. YOU... have nothing to worry about.
- Ray Manchester: [meditating] Om-m-my God, I'm freaking out.
- [later]
- Ray Manchester: Om-m-maha is not the capital of Nebraska.
- Henry Hart: [before pressing the elevation button to the Man Cave] Now, uh... don't get scared.
- Jasper Dunlop: Dude, this ain't my first elevator ride.
- Henry Hart: Yeah, okay.
- [Henry presses the button, the elevator death drops, Jasper screams and ends up hugging Henry's lower leg]