- [last lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: She's still not answering.
- Leonard Hofstadter: My father's not texting me back.
- Penny Hofstadter: [singsong] 'Cause they both turned their phones off.
- Sheldon Cooper: I don't like this at all.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I don't like it either.
- Penny Hofstadter: Really?
- [bursts out laughing]
- Penny Hofstadter: 'Cause I love it!
- Mary Cooper: Let's all remember what it says in the Bible: "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty."
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, dear woman, can you please read another book?
- Mary Cooper: When God writes one, I will.
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: [yells] How dare you invite your father without consulting me!
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'm sorry, but I don't think I need your permission to have *my* father at *my* wedding.
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: You do understand our marriage ended because he had an affair.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I know, and there- there's no excuse for that.
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: He claimed I was cold, emasculating and hadn't shown him any physical affection for years.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [mutters] Well, I was wrong; there's three excuses for that.
- Dr. Alfred Hofstadter: I'm an agnostic myself, but I have prayed many times to God. To turn my wife into a pillar of salt.
- Mary Cooper: Well, he came close. Turned her into a giant block o' ice.
- Dr. Alfred Hofstadter: Hello, my hateful shrew.
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Hello to you, you wrinkled old bastard.
- [first lines]
- Penny Hofstadter: Hey.
- Penny Hofstadter: Hi, how was the screening?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, Sheldon invoked Rosa Parks to make somebody who cut the line feel bad, but... only the white people felt bad.
- Penny Hofstadter: Uh, should never've bought him that coloring book that explains Black History Month.
- Leonard Hofstadter: How'd it go with my mother?
- Penny Hofstadter: Uh, you know it started a little rocky, but I think we got to a good place.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, well done.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, and when I dropped her off at the hotel, she even gave me a hug.
- Leonard Hofstadter: She think you were choking or...? Oh, I'm sorry. That's great. Thank you for spending time with her.
- Penny Hofstadter: No problem. Um, so, listen; I don't know if you have any plans next weekend, but I kind of promised your mom we'd have another wedding ceremony so she could attend this time.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Wait, we're going to get married again?
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, kind of, and now we can invite our friends and family.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Seems like a lot of trouble for a hug.
- Sheldon Cooper: Good news. I just got off the phone with my mother; she is coming to the wedding.
- Penny Hofstadter: OK, loo- you're inviting people to *our* wedding?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes, I'm inviting people to *our* wedding.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Penny, I've always known I loved you, but this last year has shown me that I also love being married to you. Thank you for saying yes.
- Penny Hofstadter: No, thanks for asking until I did.
- Howard Wolowitz: [about the military] They're going to make us disappear! Like *every* American Idol after season 4!