- Amy Farrah Fowler: [to Sheldon] I can't believe you've been arrested!
- Sheldon Cooper: I can't believe Penny hasn't!
- Sheldon Cooper: [about Penny and Leonard going to a cabin] You be sure and say hello to all the mosquitoes, bees, bears, snakes, possums, poison oak. Oh, and last but not least, teenagers with guitars.
- Penny: Is that the way you want to play it? All right. Never have I ever made up a name for my genitals.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I never should have told you about Alvin and the Chipmunks.
- [first lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: [Over footage of a forest] It's nice to get back to nature. Why don't I do this more often?
- [Cut to Sheldon in his apartment wearing a virtual reality headset; Leonard and Penny enter]
- Sheldon Cooper: What a beautiful forest. Oh, hello, little butterfly. What's your na-?
- Sheldon Cooper: [as he reaches out to touch the butterfly, Leonard puts his face to Sheldon's hand, startling him] Ow!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Whatcha doing?
- Sheldon Cooper: I was enjoying some virtual reality, 'til you ruined it with your actual face.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You know, if that study's real, Leonard might come back smarter than you.
- Sheldon Cooper: Are you trying to manipulate me?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Yes.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well done, it worked. We're going.
- Sheldon Cooper: Cell service is down to one bar, so if anyone needs medical attention, or to tell a stranger their political views are stupid, now's the time.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Have you ever been off the grid before?
- Sheldon Cooper: Once. The battery ran out on my phone; I had to wait for my iPad to turn on.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I was afraid he was going to eat me.
- Sheldon Cooper: Shall we check each other for ticks?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, all we did was walk in from the car.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, well, suit yourself. Who wants to check me?
- [Drops his pants]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: On the other hand, safety first.
- Penny: Hey, you guys wanna play a drinking game?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, now, w-now, we'll never win. You always play the drinking game.
- Penny: Not *the* drinking game, *a* drinking game.
- Leonard Hofstadter: To be fair, you're good at both.
- Raj Koothrappali: You guys made a person.
- Howard Wolowitz: [Putting his head on Bernadette's shoulder] We did.
- Raj Koothrappali: [Putting his head on Bernadette's other shoulder] And I like to think I helped.
- Howard Wolowitz: You didn't.
- Penny: You know, there's a cabin in Big Bear that a doctor I work with keeps offering me.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Because he's hitting on you?
- Penny: She!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, good.
- Penny: But I could get her.
- Howard Wolowitz: Do you think Raj is getting a little carried away with all the baby stuff?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I don't think so; he just wants to be part of the experience.
- Howard Wolowitz: Right. If you say so. What's in the box?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Oh, it's an ultrasonic microphone so we can hear the baby's heartbeat.
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh. That's cool; can we try it?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Actually, Raj ordered it. He made me promise to wait 'til he was here.
- Howard Wolowitz: So he can be "part of the experience"?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Yeah.
- Howard Wolowitz: Surprised he let us conceive without him.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: It's a sore spot; don't bring it up.
- Howard Wolowitz: [about Raj] You're not concerned he's acting like somehow this is his kid too.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: He's just trying to be supportive.
- Howard Wolowitz: Just supportive. Not over the top in any way?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: No.
- Raj Koothrappali: Hello-o!
- [Raj enters, with a huge stuffed bear]
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: You saw him carrying that.
- Howard Wolowitz: *Astronauts* saw him carrying that.
- Penny: [about Leonard's secret bank account] My God, Leonard, do you know what I could do with that money?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, I do, and that's why I hid it
- [last lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: Never have I ever drunk milk past its expiration date.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Never have I ever cancelled a dentist appointment.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, uh, never have I ever put my foot in the ocean.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Never have I ever honked if I liked anything.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, uh, never have I ever thrown, caught or touched a Frisbee.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Never have I ever put salt on my food without trying it first.
- Sheldon Cooper: Unph. Never have I ever pushed all the buttons in an elevator.
- [Amy drinks, Sheldon gasps]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, we all have a past.
- Leonard Hofstadter: There goes our hike.
- Sheldon Cooper: Aw, not the hike? Now we'll have to stay here safe and warm.
- Penny: Never have I ever...
- Amy Farrah Fowler: If she's trying to think of somethilng she hasn't done, we might be a while.
- Penny: Very funny. Never have I ever... okay, I got nothing, let's go around.
- Penny: What's that?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, I bought a baseball cap.
- Penny: I can see that. What team?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hufflepuff from the Harry Potter movies.
- Penny: Well, we'll be in the woods.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You know, never have I ever made love out in the woods in the rain.
- Penny: All right, guess I have to drink.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You have shoes you love but never wear. I have money I love but never spend. We're kind of a cute couple that way.
- Penny: We could still go; a little rain isn't going to kill us.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Have you been outside in the rain with Sheldon?
- Penny: No.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You'd wish it would kill you.