Lucifer (TV Series)
Everything's Coming Up Lucifer (2016)
Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar
Photos
Quotes
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Lucifer Morningstar : In human terms, once upon a time, a boy met a girl, and they fell in love. They had sex. The only trouble was, they were celestial beings, so that moment created the universe.
Linda Martin : Mm, the Big Bang?
Lucifer Morningstar : Never knew how appropriate the name was until now, did you?
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Lucifer Morningstar : Devil emoji? That's it. I'm talking to a copyright lawyer today.
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Ella Lopez : I think the Devil gets a bad rap
Lucifer Morningstar : [Perks up] Oh! You do, do you?
Ella Lopez : Sure. I mean, what did he really do that was so bad? What, rebel against his dad? Ask some naked lady if she wanted an apple?
Lucifer Morningstar : Be still my heart. Do go on.
Ella Lopez : I suppose he does run Hell. That's not so great, you know, with the torture and eternal damnation.
Lucifer Morningstar : I'm retired. And besides, I didn't create Hell. I just worked there.
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Ella Lopez : You must be Detective Decker's civilian consultant.
Lucifer Morningstar : Lucifer Morningstar.
Ella Lopez : Cool.
Lucifer Morningstar : I was expecting a different reaction considering your choice of bling.
[Looks at her cross necklace]
Ella Lopez : Oh. Dude, I had a friend named Adolf, okay, Adolf. I didn't hold it against him.
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Chairperson : [Running AA meeting] Uh, the theme of the day is your lowest point.
Lucifer Morningstar : Right, my lowest point. Well, geographically, that would be Hell, of course. Hard to get much lower than that.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Where were you, Maze?
Mazikeen : Wait, you think I'm helping her? Have you forgotten who *actually* tortured her in Hell?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, desperation makes for strange bedfellows... I've just pictured you in bed with my mom. Oh, I can't un-see that now.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Hello, murderer.
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Linda Martin : Sounds like there's a lot of blame to go around.
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes.
Linda Martin : Is there anyone you might be leaving out?
Lucifer Morningstar : Anyone I'm leaving out. Um... Oh, you're right. Yes.
[Dr. Martin looks hopeful]
Lucifer Morningstar : If you'd fixed my existential problem earlier, none of this would have happened. Well, good on you for taking responsibility, Doctor. It's very noble.
[She sighs]
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Lucifer Morningstar : My name is Lucifer Morningstar and I... love drugs! Love them! Mmm! Yummy, yummy, yummy. Can't get enough. And... I've got lots of money...
[Flashes roll of cash]
Lucifer Morningstar : Mmm, that I love spending on drugs. Not even picky. I'll do any of them. Mix them together sometimes.
[Turns to the group]
Lucifer Morningstar : You ever done a he-she? No? A neon nod? A donk? Ah. Yeah, he knows what I'm talking about.
[Points to a guy]
Lucifer Morningstar : That man has definitely donked.
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Roberta Beliard : She has so much cocaine up her nose, it would snow if you shook her.
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, I've tried that.
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Linda Martin : You don't think you deserve any of the blame for what happened with your mother?
Lucifer Morningstar : No. That's between her and Dad.
Linda Martin : Then whose fault is it?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, I suppose none of this would have happened if Amenadiel had been watching over Hell like he was supposed to.
Linda Martin : I thought that was your job.
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, it was, but when I abdicated, it became his. Sort of like a game of hot potato.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Well, I've assumed a lot about my mother, including the fact that she wants revenge for what I did to her.
Linda Martin : And now she doesn't?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, it doesn't appear so, no.
Linda Martin : And why is that a bad thing?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, because, Doctor, if she's not coming to kill me, then I don't know what she's doing. And...... that's truly terrifying.
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Chloe Decker : Feel free to jump in and help me.
Lucifer Morningstar : Joy of joys.
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Linda Martin : You've never mentioned your mother before. Why is that?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, you wouldn't understand, would you?
Linda Martin : I'd like to.