Lucifer (TV Series)
Liar, Liar, Slutty Dress on Fire (2016)
Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar
Photos
Quotes
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Chloe Decker : Oh, are you praying or-...
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, usually works. He must've gone for a wank or something.
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Dan Espinoza : I really don't think it's the missing woman, Lucifer. It's a little unusual for a woman to strangle someone.
Lucifer Morningstar : But look at the size of the bruising; clearly not man hands.
Ella Lopez : I've seen some guys with some pretty tiny lady hands.
Lucifer Morningstar : Dan doesn't count.
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Lucifer Morningstar : [On Charlotte's prospects as an escapee] I mean... how far can a celestial being trapped in a feeble human body for the first time get?
Mazikeen : Well let's see: she's stupid hot, wearing my clothes, and she's got a corporate credit card.
Lucifer Morningstar : [Stunned realization] Bollocks...
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Chloe Decker : Ella; we have to proceed as if this missing woman is still alive, okay?
Ella Lopez : Yeah.
Chloe Decker : I don't want to find another body.
Lucifer Morningstar : Trust me, you will not find another body.
Dan Espinoza : [Enters] I found a body!
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Lucifer Morningstar : You're gonna have to lose those clothes. They're a serious problem.
[Charlotte starts undressing]
Lucifer Morningstar : Taking you home, 'cause this being out in public thing obviously isn't working. And then I'm going to see my colleague.
[Lucifer looks at his mother]
Lucifer Morningstar : Mum!
[looks away realizing she's standing there nude]
Charlotte : Yes?
Lucifer Morningstar : You're... naked!
Charlotte : Well you said clothes were a problem, so problem solved.
Lucifer Morningstar : In the bloody car, will you!
[he takes his jacket off and covers her]
Lucifer Morningstar : I'm going to be traumatized for eternity. Thank you very much for that.
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Charlotte : I apologize for my human form, but... at least this one has supreme hindquarters.
Lucifer Morningstar : You're lying.
Charlotte : No. They're quite sturdy, feel it.
Lucifer Morningstar : I wasn't referring, nor will I ever refer, to your butt, Mother.
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Lucifer Morningstar : [Elliot's closet is full of crocs] There's only one body part that rubber should be worn on. Not that you'd know.
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Lucifer Morningstar : [Walking right past a couple of bodyguards] Hello chaps, just looking for the head of a big drug cartel. Is he home? Vicky?
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Lucifer Morningstar : [At a solarium, after throwing a thug through a wall full of drugs] Oh! Oh look at that: snow storm in a tanning salon, how ironic.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Hawaiian print? The eighth deadly sin.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Perhaps we shouldn't have borrowed from Maze. Her clothing is insufficient.
Charlotte : Yes. Half my hide is exposed. Human attire is very impractical.
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Chloe Decker : Trixie's best friend Landa got a new All-American doll, and now Trixie wants one. So what does she do? She destroys her old doll, expecting me to replace it.
Lucifer Morningstar : Mm, impressive. But, then, I'd expect nothing less from the shrewd little minx.
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Ella Lopez : You see the bruising and the semi-circular marks on her neck?
Chloe Decker : Strangled.
Lucifer Morningstar : Aha. Long fingernails, which means the killer's female.
Ella Lopez : Not necessarily. I mean, the marks aren't deep. It could just be a dude who's not serious man-groomer.
Lucifer Morningstar : Come on. It's so obvious; your cinder-hellion had just plunged a screwdriver into the poor lad, when she was interrupted by the chambermaid, who she then snuffed out with her bare hands.
Chloe Decker : Chambermaid? Who's the killer, Mrs. Peacock in the library with the candlestick?
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Charlotte : I want what your father took from me. I want my home back. But I know that's not possible. So I want to do what I can to be a good mother to you here, on Earth.
Lucifer Morningstar : It's too late. You abandoned me, Mum. You just stood by and watched as I was cast out. Thrown into Hell and vilified for all eternity. There aren't enough cheesy noodles in the universe to fix all that, I'm afraid,
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Lucifer Morningstar : Maze? Ah, good, you're still here. I have a job for you.
Mazikeen : On my way out, Lucifer. No more jobs.
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, yes, I know. You don't work for me anymore. Very clear. But I have a feeling you're gonna love this one. Just think of it as a parting gift.
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Lucifer Morningstar : I'm sorry, Detective, but Charlotte's in danger. We need to find her.
Chloe Decker : How did she go from big bad wolf to little lost lamb?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, maybe she's a wolf in sheep's clothing, but right now she needs to return to the flock.