- Chloe Decker: We've have an injured groom and a deceased bride.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, they got to that "till death do us part" nonsense quickly, didn't they?
- Chloe Decker: The bride suffered a gunshot wound to the chest.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Chest? Shooter didn't go for the head? First rule of zombie killing.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [Making out with a bridesmaid] Detective, I found you a lead.
- Chloe Decker: Where--in her mouth?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, actually. Imagine what I can find in other orifices.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I got the files, didn't I? I did what I had to do
- Dan Espinoza: Oh, please, don't give me that crap. You never do what you have to do, Lucifer. You only ever do what you *want* to.
- Lucifer Morningstar: That is not true. There's a lot of things that I didn't want to do.
- Dan Espinoza: Oh, really?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes. Because if I only ever did what I wanted to do, then right now, I'd do this.
- [Punches Dan in the face]
- Chloe Decker: Babysitter Shelly might have to take you, okay?
- Trixie Espinoza: Oh, she already left.
- Chloe Decker: What? Why?
- Trixie Espinoza: I don't know. But when she went into Maze's room, she ran out screaming.
- Chloe Decker: Seriously? A sex swing?
- Mazikeen: I know, right? Wanna hop on?
- Chloe Decker: Okay, if we're gonna live together, we need to have some house rules. Rule number one, and I can't believe I'm saying this, *no* sex swing.
- Mazikeen: You said I could bring my furniture.
- Chloe Decker: A sex swing is not furniture!
- Lucifer Morningstar: You need to take me seriously. You need to believe what I'm saying. Otherwise, you'll never understand... I'm a monster. A monster who... deserves to be punished.
- Linda Martin: I believe you feel that way. And I want to understand. I truly do! But, Lucifer, you have to help me. I need you to be honest with me. Completely honest about who you are.
- Lucifer Morningstar: My brother died.
- Linda Martin: Amenadiel?
- Lucifer Morningstar: No, I... another brother. I have many.
- Linda Martin: Lucifer, I'm so sorry.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, it's fine, what's done is done.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Let me guess, you were in love with the groom. This is always about jealousy, isn't it?
- Shauna: No! It was Peggy.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, much more interesting, go on.
- Chloe Decker: Are you drunk?
- Lucifer Morningstar: I wish. Pesky supernatural metabolism keeps getting in the way. Still doesn't stop me trying, though.
- Linda Martin: I believe you feel that way. And I want to understand. I truly do! But, Lucifer, you have to help me. I need you to be honest with me. Completely honest... about who you are.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Completely honest? Are you sure?
- Linda Martin: Yes. Yes, I'm sure. That's what all of these sessions... Our entire relationship... Is all about. Getting to know the real Lucifer. No more lies. No more metaphors.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Very well.
- Lucifer Morningstar: You can't understand, Detective. And you never will.
- Chloe Decker: Well, if you won't talk to me, then... please, talk to someone else. You have a therapist. Talk to her, before it eats you alive.
- Mazikeen: What's wrong?
- Trixie Espinoza: I told Mommy I wanted to be a princess when I was seven. Now I'm eight.
- Mazikeen: And?
- Trixie Espinoza: Halloween's supposed to be the one night you get to be whatever you want.
- Mazikeen: What do you want to be?
- Chloe Decker: What did you do to the babysitter?
- Mazikeen: Me? She's the one who didn't knock. I had no time to hide my toys.
- Dan Espinoza: You tortured a suspect?
- Lucifer Morningstar: I didn't lay a finger on the spineless cretin,