- Lucifer Morningstar: Detective, does that mean you're on my side now?
- Chloe Decker: Lucifer, this is your home. I've always been on your side.
- Linda Martin: [about Amenadiel] if what you say is true...
- Lucifer Morningstar: What? That he's got a stick so far up his ass you can see it when he yawns?
- Linda Martin: That he's a fallen angel.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, yes, that, too.
- Amenadiel: I don't need you to show me around the city.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, of course you do. This is an exciting time, brother! Now that we're making Los Angeles our home, the City of Angels can finally earn its name.
- Linda Martin: I find that people make Los Angeles their home for one of two reasons. Either they're running from something, or looking for something.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Detective, does that mean you're on my side now?
- Chloe Decker: Lucifer, this is your home, I've always been on your side.
- Lucifer Morningstar: This is the man forcing me from my home, he can't even make a proper suicide jump.
- Linda Martin: I find that people make Los Angeles their home for one of two reasons. Either they're running from something, or looking for something.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, and which one are you?
- Linda Martin: I'm not the one on the couch, Lucifer.
- Lucifer Morningstar: It's not my home, it never was.
- Linda Martin: And neither was Hell.
- Lucifer Morningstar: No. No, that was somewhere I was sent as punishment. Like the DMV, but less screaming.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Underneath here there's prohibition tunnels everywhere. Howard Hughes used to use them to sneak his mistresses away from his other mistresses.
- Chloe Decker: Ella, are any of these pieces here big enough to get a partial from?
- Ella Lopez: Probably not. But, hey, someone invented glue for a reason. Right?
- Chloe Decker: You're going to reassemble all those pieces?
- Lucifer Morningstar: I'm fairly certain there are people in Hell being forced to do exactly that right now.
- Ella Lopez: Oh, I was the kind of kid who did jigsaw puzzles picture-side down.
- Chloe Decker: This an extremely high profile case. We are doing this by the book. I cannot have you terrorizing him.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I would never.
- Chloe Decker: Or threatening to tear his arms off.
- Lucifer Morningstar: That happened one time.
- Chloe Decker: Or hanging him from a window.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I solemnly promise that the man's feet will remain firmly on the ground.
- [Body falls from the sky]
- Eric Cooper: I saw your "lease"... It was written in lipstick on a stripper's thong. Not exactly legally binding.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Hm. Well, maybe we can write the new one in blood. I find that to be quite binding.
- Linda Martin: Why is it that I'm the only human in your life who knows who you really are?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Because you asked me, remember? You insisted that I show you.
- Tour Guide: On your right, you'll see the famous shop, Pooch Pouch, the store that sells purses for purse-sized dogs. Clearly. Don't get it confused with the store that sells dogs in the shapes of purses.