- Random Canadian Dude: Good day, 'ey.
- The Mentos Man: Oh no, man! No Mentos! NO MENTOS!
- Random Canadian Dude: Oh no, I'm not here to give you, um, to give you Mentos. You look cold, 'ey.
- [takes off jacket and hands it to Mentos Man]
- Random Canadian Dude: Do you want this jacket?
- The Mentos Man: That's... my jacket...?
- Random Canadian Dude: You can have it, hoser. Take off knob.
- [walks away]
- The Mentos Man: Alright, I have no friends... it's been bugging me lately. I'm new here. I get so discouraged when I try to look for friends.
- The Mentos Man: [sighs] I don't know...
- The Mentos Dealer: You need to believe in yourself.
- Mentos Accomplice: Be yourself.
- The Mentos Dealer: BELIEVE in yourself.
- Mentos Accomplice: Just gotta be YOU, ya know?
- The Mentos Man: ...I DON'T KNOW!
- The Mentos Dealer: [to Mentos Man] You know what you need, my friend?
- The Mentos Man: [delighted] You called me "friend"?
- The Mentos Dealer: Shut up and have a Mentos!
- [MENTOS Theme Plays]
- Mentos Friend: [jogging towards Mentos Man] Hey man!
- The Mentos Man: Oh, hiiiiii!
- Mentos Friend: You look like you're having a good time over here. What's going on?
- The Mentos Man: Yeah, I'm having a great time! Just feeding the ducks!
- Mentos Friend: It looks like they're enjoying it... what are you feeding them?
- The Mentos Man: MENTOS!
- Mentos Friend: [gasps] Can I have one?
- The Mentos Man: Yeah!
- [Hands him the Mentos]
- The Mentos Man, Mentos Friend: YEAH!
- [high fives and goes into the commercial]
- The Mentos Dealer: [dial-up sound] Smith here.
- Mentos Friend: He's onto us! Be prepared... he's heading in your direction.
- The Mentos Dealer: Affirmative. We got people on him.
- The Mentos Man: [nervously] Hi!
- Tic-Tac Elevator Dude: Hey, you look like you need a Tic-Tac.
- [hands him the case of Tic-Tacs]
- The Mentos Man: [grabs a Tic-Tac and opens his palm to reveal a Mento] AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
- Tic-Tac Elevator Dude: You ok?
- [Mentos Man punches him]