- Eva: You know, my man is always making me do all this dangerous stuff by myself.
- Joel Hammond: Really?
- Eva: Yeah. Why is he doing that to me, Joel?
- Joel Hammond: I don't know. Maybe he's not great at danger and thinks he would just get in your way.
- Eva: You know, I never told him, but I want him with me. Having him there makes me feel better.
- Joel Hammond: Of course it does. And he should wanna make you feel better. He needs to stop only thinking about himself, put his issues aside, and be there for his wife.
- Eva: We're not even married. And I got a ton of shit to say about that, too.
- Marcus: [walks into apartment] What the fuck?
- Eva: Yo, this is Joel. And he didn't do nothing to Loki. And he says you need to stop being a fucking pussy and come with me when I do my drops, and fucking put a ring on it, Marcus!
- Joel Hammond: Marcus is your boyfriend? Would've been good to know.
- Joel Hammond: How was your night with the sex trafficker? A question I never thought I'd ask my wife.
- Sheila Hammond: Awful. It turns out he wasn't a trafficker. He was Lisa's boyfriend. A nice pediatrician who gave me $200. I almost killed an innocent man. And even if I find a worthy charity to donate the money to, I'm still gonna get the tax write-off.
- Dan Palmer: Maybe you didn't hear, Rick, but Joel and I are best friends now. Right, Joel?
- Joel Hammond: Yes. We are best friends now.
- Rick: Thank God. This "will they, won't they" thing has been going on too long.
- Sheila Hammond: Maybe we need to change our perspective on this. Maybe Dan is working for us. And he's like our little truffle pig just leading us to tasty morsels.
- [nibbling]
- Joel Hammond: That may be the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said about Dan, but I'm sorry, honey, I'm just not doing it.