- Ella Lopez: Man, I miss Lucifer. He was the best hugger. I mean, squirmer on the outside, but warm and fuzzy on the inside.
- Lucifer Morningstar: What I felt for her was smoke and mirrors, courtesy of dear old Dad. I mean, He clearly expected me to zig, and so I zagged.
- Linda Martin: And does Chloe know that you've... "zagged" Candy?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes. She just fired me.
- Linda Martin: Shocking.
- Lucifer Morningstar: You're still fantasizing about heavenly rebellion? Just let it go, Mum. Been there, done that, big fall.
- Charlotte: But that's just it. Why do you think you lost that fight?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, I don't know, let's have a think, shall we? Not enough cardio?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Mum, this is Candy, my wife. I'm sorry that we didn't invite you to the wedding. We just decided no enemies.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [On the Phone] Candy, darling, I can't talk now. About to catch a killer.
- [Killer garottes him from behind]
- Lucifer Morningstar: Gonna have to call you back!
- Lucifer Morningstar: [laughs, while looking at Chloe's phone] Oh, full of '90s jams, I see. The Bangles, N'Sync, Right Said Fred?
- Chloe Decker: Give me the phone back.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I mean, seriously, Detective, your music queue alone is enough to disqualify you from this case.
- Lucifer Morningstar: This next song is for a, ah, special someone. A woman who says she doesn't need me anymore.
- random person in the crowd: I need you!
- Candy Morningstar: I was fired once. But you know what I did? I just kept showing up and made myself expandable.
- Linda Martin: Oh, uh, do you mean indispensable?
- Candy Morningstar: No. Expandable. I got a boob job, and it totally expanded my horizons.
- Courtney Sax: The band, they thought I was uncool, but it was Ash, he was the selfish, childish one.
- Chloe Decker: I completely understand. I was with an immature partner, and it was maddening.
- Courtney Sax: It's crazy-making.
- Chloe Decker: Yeah, wanted to kill him.
- Courtney Sax: I didn't say that...
- Lucifer Morningstar: [Watching the interrogation] Ouch. Shade. I wouldn't take it too personally.
- [Gives Dan a pat]
- Dan Espinoza: Yeah, right.
- [Rolls eyes]
- Charlotte: Tell me more about you and Lucifer. What comes next for you two lovebirds? Did he say anything about, uh, I don't know... matricide?
- Candy Morningstar: No, I think the mattress in the penthouse is pretty new.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [Doug has Lucifer in a stranglehold] The Detective doesn't need me anymore. So come on. Do your worst.
- Chloe Decker: Don't listen to him, Doug.
- Lucifer Morningstar: No, go on! Go on, go on. Yank like it's your last wank. Or better still, you shoot, Detective. Come on. Two birds, one bullet, what do you say? Huh?
- Chloe Decker: [Chloe shoots Doug; he falls to the ground, releasing Lucifer] You okay?
- Lucifer Morningstar: I think so.
- Doug Kennedy: Yeah, that's because you shot me!
- Lucifer Morningstar: I hear this case involves a band, so, lucky for you I bring my much-needed musical expertise.
- Candy Morningstar: [to Chloe] Did you know he plays piano? Like, better than Elton Tom.
- Anthony Annan: [Chloe is pretending to be Candy] Why do you want to divorce Lucifer?
- Chloe Decker: Um... Well, I just feel like we're supposed to have a partnership, and it just totally feels like it's not working anymore.
- Anthony Annan: Mm-hmm. And you two have been married for...
- Lucifer Morningstar: Five days.
- Chloe Decker: You really told Lucifer where I was? Since when do you guys talk?
- Dan Espinoza: Since he helped me save your life.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I take the vows of marriage very seriously.
- Chloe Decker: And that's why you chose an idiotic, bedazzled tweener as your partner.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Amenadiel seems to think I owe you a chat. So I'll start by saying I do not forgive you.
- Charlotte: I deserve that.
- Candy Morningstar: I don't get a lot of names at my job, so I'm super good with faces... And other things.
- Lucifer Morningstar: There's not a scratch, Detective. Impressive marksmanship.
- Chloe Decker: Actually, I was aiming for you.
- Linda Martin: I know you've been through Hell... I suppose we can discuss that another time.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, no, no, there's no need for censoring, Doctor. Candy and I have no secrets. Isn't that the key to a successful marriage?
- Linda Martin: And how are you coping since your... Travels? Any warning signs of lasting trauma? Denial?
- [Looks at Candy]
- Linda Martin: Rash decisions?
- Lucifer Morningstar: No, no. I think I've thought through everything quite carefully.
- Candy Morningstar: He's a thinker, this one!