Lucifer (TV Series)

The Good, the Bad, and the Crispy (2017)

Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlotte : I just want a chance to start - OVER.

  Lucifer Morningstar : But... going HOME?... That's not starting over-that's-that's going BACKwards...

  [realizing the meaning of Chloe's words] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : ... and that's not good for anyone... so it's time for you to move forward, mum.

• Lucifer Morningstar : [to Charlotte]  Have you ever considered finding, well, I don't know, a-a place of your own?

  Amenadiel : Yeah. Somewhere away from Dad, maybe?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Yes. Somewhere familiar, warmer, perhaps?

  Charlotte : You want... You want me back in Hell?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, not "in" Hell, per se, but in charge of Hell. I mean, after all, it is a kingdom without a ruler.

  Amenadiel : He is right. I mean, there's a great opportunity for upward mobility.

• Lucifer Morningstar : [as Trixie hands a lollipop to Maze]  Oh, love me a lolli!

  Trixie : Sorry, wussies don't get any.

  [She gives a fist bump to Maze] 

• Lucifer Morningstar : This is my fault. I should never have got you involved in any of this from the start.

  Linda Martin : It's not like I didn't know I was dealing with the most powerful, well... the most dysfunctional family in the universe. Lucifer, I walked into this with my eyes wide open, chose to be your friend and face all that comes with that. The good, the bad and the crispy.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Well, maybe our poor killer's just Chaetophobic.

  [Gets looks] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Fear of hair. Always fun when they turn up in Hell. Lots of wigs involved.

• Lucifer Morningstar : You have experience with emotionally fragile men, don't you?

  Chloe Decker : You're self-aware today.

  Lucifer Morningstar : No, I meant Dan.

• Lucifer Morningstar : I'm simply saying that we should be focusing on more pressing criminal issues.

  Chloe Decker : Such as?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, I'm glad you asked, actually.

  [Opens newspaper] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : The death of Celeste McDougall. Very suspicious, indeed.

  Chloe Decker : She was 92.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, and fit as a fiddle. I mean, look at that smug face.

• Lucifer Morningstar : It's classic Dad. Hanging the final piece of the Flaming Sword right under our noses... Well... Your nose, this entire time

• Lucifer Morningstar : [Arriving at Dr. Martin's office]  Mum. What are you doing here?

  Charlotte : Oh, you know, girl stuff

  Lucifer Morningstar : Naked girl stuff?

• Lucifer Morningstar : This is the real way to move forward, Mum. To create a whole new world. Your own world, without Father.

  Charlotte : What about you? Amenadiel, my children?

  Lucifer Morningstar : You know that if we go back to Heaven, then there will be a war. And in war... there are always casualties.

  Charlotte : The last thing I want is to hurt my children.

  Lucifer Morningstar : I know. So, please... . Let there be light.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Hello, brother. I notice you've changed your look. Where's your pretty necklace?

  Amenadiel : Oh, I've put it in a safe place.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Ah. Keister it, did you?

  Mazikeen : Nope. Already checked. Not there.

• Kathleen Lyon : [Carrying a body bag]  I know this looks bad, but we can explain. I'm Ava. This is my sister Kathleen

  Ava Lyon : Hi. How ya doin'?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Friendliest serial killers ever.

• Lucifer Morningstar : [after Charlotte hurls them through Lucifer's piano]  Well, now look what you've made her do. I've just had this tuned!

  Amenadiel : *Me*? How about you suggesting Hell as a retirement home? Nice. Maybe if you had just mentioned the pottery class or water aerobics, she would have gone for it.

• Lucifer Morningstar : You know I don't lie, Detective.

  Chloe Decker : But you also don't tell the whole truth... Does this have to do with what you were upset about this morning, with your family?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, but I can't explain, because you wouldn't understand.

  Chloe Decker : Not if you don't talk to me... Never mind. I thought we were past this. Going backwards, Lucifer, is not good. For anyone.

• Lucifer Morningstar : If we don't get you back to Heaven before the detective gets to you, then she is quite literally toast.

• Lucifer Morningstar : You know I don't lie, Detective.

  Chloe Decker : But you also don't tell the whole truth.

• Amenadiel : Mom is not going anywhere!

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, I am afraid that we do not have a choice, Brother!