The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Geology Elevation (2016)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sheldon Cooper : I admire you, Leonard.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Really? Why?

  Sheldon Cooper : You're happy with who you are. You don't get jealous of other people. Instead of being weighed down by ambition, you just float along like a dead body in a river.

  Leonard Hofstadter : [to himself]  I couldn't just take the compliment. I had to ask why.

• Leonard Hofstadter : You know, I do understand what you're feeling. My brother and sister's accomplishments have always been held over my head.

  Sheldon Cooper : How did you deal with it?

  Leonard Hofstadter : I wet the bed until college, but I don't think that's a quality fix.

  Sheldon Cooper : I can't believe I was surpassed by a geologist. I mean, rocks. He studies rocks. If rock is so great, how come paper beats it?

• Amy Farrah Fowler : I can't believe you headbutted a water fountain.

  Sheldon Cooper : No. I went to punch the water fountain, slipped in water in front of the water fountain, and hit my head on the water fountain.

• Sheldon Cooper : Who leaves their bike in the hallway? Y'know, if I knew how to ride one, I'd steal it.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : [Leonard helps a limping Sheldon into the apartment]  What happened?

  Sheldon Cooper : I tried to let go of anger and threw a rock into my foot.

  Leonard Hofstadter : [with a tissue hanging out of his nose]  Then he got more angry and kicked the rock with his other foot.

  Penny : And what happened to you?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, I laughed so hard I burst a blood vessel in my nose. It's fine.

• Bert : [jealous of Bert, Sheldon injured himself expressing his anger]  What happened to you?

  Sheldon Cooper : [pointing to each foot in turn, then his forehead]  Rock, rock, water fountain.

• Stephen Hawking : I understand you're struggling with professional jealousy.

  Sheldon Cooper : Thanks, Leonard, now he's not going to think I'm cool.

  Stephen Hawking : Don't worry. I know how you feel. I have never won a Nobel prize.

  Penny : Oh, wow, that doesn't seem fair.

  Stephen Hawking : It's fine. I've been on The Simpsons.

  Sheldon Cooper : How do you deal with the success of your colleagues?

  Stephen Hawking : I remind myself every scientific advancement is a victory. Also, I was on Star Trek.

• Sheldon Cooper : [about Bert]  Some genius. I zinged him with sarcasm; he didn't even notice.

  Leonard Hofstadter : [sarcastically]  I know. And it was the greatest sarcastic quip I've ever heard.

  Sheldon Cooper : [oblivious]  Well, aren't you a peach.

• [last lines] 

  [Sheldon and Bert are at a taping of the Ellen DeGeneres Show] 

  Ellen DeGeneres : A new study came out and it said that laughing makes your brain work better. And I know that's true because laughing has made me the smartiest. Although, on the other hand, babies laugh a lot and they're dumb.

  Sheldon Cooper : [to Bert]  Do people know about her? 'Cause she's delightful.

• Sheldon Cooper : Thank you, Professor Hawking. You are a gift to mankind. There should be statues of you everywhere. You know, the Lincoln Memorial has a big chair; we could swap you right in.

• [first lines] 

  Bert : [in the background]  Thank you very much. Thanks.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That is unbelievable. Good for Bert.

  Howard Wolowitz : Damn. The MacArthur Genius Grant.

  Raj Koothrappali : Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

  Sheldon Cooper : Everything is stupid and I want to go home.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That's Sheldon's way of saying he's proud of Bert too.

• Sheldon Cooper : Hang on, you're my enemy. And if the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and right now, I'm my own worst enemy, that makes you my frie... Okay, I'm good to go.

• Sheldon Cooper : This is worse than when I had to admit that Cedric the Entertainer is actually entertaining.

• Sheldon Cooper : [Struggling because he hurt his foot]  Sorry I'm moving slowly.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I don't mind. If you pull a butterscotch out of your pocket it'll be like I'm walking with my grandma.

  Sheldon Cooper : [Sees plaque of Bert]  Oh no! A plaque? Nobody wants to see this!

  Leonard Hofstadter : Change "plaque" to "mixed race couple" and you are my grandma!

• Sheldon Cooper : I'm not proud of this, but I have been envious of your recent success.

  Bert : Wow. I won the MacArthur grant, everyone's jealous of me... Once I get Lasik I'll be out of things to wish for.