The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Property Division Collision (2016)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, I know what you did, now change the password back.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, powder me in sugar and call me a doughnut, if it isn't Leonard Hofstadter.
Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, I'm warning you, I can play this game, too.
Sheldon Cooper : If it's like your 3-D chess game, then you're out of your length, width and depth. Amy, get the Neosporin, someone just got burned!
Leonard Hofstadter : All right, I tried.
Sheldon Cooper : "All right, I tried." That should be the title of your autobiography. Ooh, a second degree burn.
[Closes door on Leonard; Amy enters]
Amy Farrah Fowler : I've got the Neosporin. Who got hurt?
Sheldon Cooper : It's a good thing you're cute.
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Penny Hofstadter : I think I'm gonna go for a run. You want to come?
Leonard Hofstadter : No, last time that old lady in the park kept screaming, "Watch out, he's right behind you."
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Leonard Hofstadter : You're good at revenge. How do we get him back?
Penny Hofstadter : Well, my go-to move is usually to sleep with the person's boyfriend, but I feel like I'm already doing that.
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Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, I would like us to stop fighting about our possessions.
Leonard Hofstadter : I'd like that too.
Sheldon Cooper : In fact, I want you to keep the apartment flag. And I'm not just saying that because it touched your genitals.
Leonard Hofstadter : Promise?
Sheldon Cooper : I do. And to show you that there are no hard feelings, I am willing to rub my genitals on it as well.
Theodore : Well, if we're rubbing genitals on things, that's where I shine.
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Sheldon Cooper : [Finds Leonard wearing the apartment flag while doing the laundry] What do you think you're doing?
Leonard Hofstadter : Separating my delicates.
Sheldon Cooper : This is the level you're stooping to?
Leonard Hofstadter : [Takes off underwear] No, this is the level I am stooping to. I believe that is flag to crotch four. Checkmate! Easy-peasy, ooh, so breezy!
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Leonard Hofstadter : Can I help you?
Theodore : I don't think so, but you're sweet for asking.
Penny Hofstadter : What are you doing in our apartment?
Theodore : I'm renting a room from your neighbor. Tall guy, dressed like a little boy.
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Leonard Hofstadter : What do you think you're doing?
Sheldon Cooper : Since my room is paid up until the end of the month, I can do with it whatever I please, which includes renting it out for a dollar a night.
Theodore : It' s like the forties again.
Sheldon Cooper : Anyway, I'll let you be. Oh, he's expecting a newspaper in the morning. Apparently, they're still making them.
Penny Hofstadter : Sheldon, this is way over the line.
Sheldon Cooper : It's true, but had I done something under the line, there wouldn't be a man in your kitchen who can't produce a single form of ID.
Theodore : Oh, I have a receipt from the blood bank. I'm O-negative.
Sheldon Cooper : And now you know as much about him as I do.
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Penny Hofstadter : [as Leonard adjusts the painting of Penny and Amy] Little lower to the left. Little more.
Leonard Hofstadter : Good?
Penny Hofstadter : No, still hideous.
Leonard Hofstadter : I'm sure at some point, we won't even notice it's there.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, you'd think that, but after a while it starts showing up in your dreams.
Theodore : I think it brings the room together.