- After spending the holidays apart, the gang get together to hear about Sheldon's and Amy's trip to Texas, Leonard's and Penny's Christmas tree adventure, and Howard's and Bernadette's first days as parents.
- It's early January, 2017, and Leonard and Penny are hosting a regular dinner for their friends, the first time they've gotten together since the holidays. Each group has a story to tell which marred their holidays. Sheldon and Amy went to Texas to spend the holidays with Mary. Their issue revolves around the fact that, on Amy's initiative, they told fundamentalist Christian Mary about their cohabitation outside of wedlock. It is not only Mary's reaction to the news that has Sheldon irked, but also a secret that Amy divulges about that news. Leonard and Penny's story revolves around the day they ended up purchasing their Christmas tree, issues around which placed a pall on everything else that happened that day. And in the collective Wolowitz-Rostenkowski-Bloom household with Koothrappali thrown into the mix, they are still getting used to having baby Halley in their lives and the lack of sleep that she causes, especially in trying to get her to stop crying. It's not only the crying that is the issue, but also what, or more specifically who, can stop her from doing so.—Huggo
- In their apartment, Penny wants to set up snacks for the gang while Leonard is packing away the last of the Christmas decorations. Sheldon always objects to decorations up past New Year's Eve. Bernadette texts Penny that they are running late because Halley got sick. Shamy arrives as Sheldon points out the mistletoe they had not taken down. Penny asks them how their trip to Texas went. Sheldon tells them that it didn't go well and that the "Lone Star State" should be its Yelp rating.
Discussing their trip. Sheldon explained that the flight down was fine except for the weird tasting juice that Amy gave him; he slept the whole way down. Amy has a little smile on her face since she obviously drugged him. On their way to Mary's (Laurie Metcalf) house Sheldon suddenly woke up not knowing how he got in the car. She got him into the car using a luggage cart. Amy wants Sheldon to tell Mary that they are living together. He is reluctant because they will have to listen to her religious lecture on their sinning. Sheldon has already heard the lecture to his brother, his sister and his father who also had a girlfriend. Amy thinks that there might not be one since she thinks that Mary likes her. At dinner Mary is praying over their "Sloppy Joes" which Amy thinks looks delicious. Their first news is that the Wolowitzes had a little girl which Mary wonders if they are going to raise it Jewish or regular. Amy gets Sheldon to tell Mary the other news that they are now living together in sin like a couple of New Yorkers.
Sheldon is confused when Mary says that she is thrilled. Though she would prefer that they be wedded, she is happy for them because of the special circumstances. What circumstances wonders Sheldon? Mary explains that by the time he was three years old, he had memorized over a thousand types of trains and she thought that no woman would want to get on any of them. Sheldon objects that his mother thought he would be alone for the rest of his life. Not true. She figured he would have nurses near the end. Sheldon storms off. Later Amy wonders if she should go talk to Sheldon. Mary says that she should do it, but she always knows why she won't. Sheldon returns wearing some underwear on his head and swim fins on his feet thinking that his mother wants him to be the non social eccentric that she always thought he was. Amy realizes that Mary and her are going to ignore Sheldon. Sheldon is mad that Amy is taking her mother's side especially since she thinks that Amy is a weirdo too. Sheldon and Amy leave to drive around for a while. Amy comforts Sheldon with the fact that his mother is wrong since he does have someone. Also, she already told Mary that they were living together to avoid the whole issue. Sheldon isn't happy that Amy doesn't think he can run his life. Amy was only helping him out since both of them help each other with their weaknesses.
The Wolowitzes show up with Halley, Raj and Stuart in tow. Halley is put in their bedroom since she is sleeping. Howard calls his Sherpa Poppins and Doubtfire to come with him. They catch Bernadette up on their Texas story which finishes with Sheldon rebelling with getting an earring and his mother making Amy take it out. Amy thought that he looked like the pirate who helped the other pirates connect to the Internet.
Leonard and Penny describe their big fight about watching Luke Cage together. Penny reveals that she watched two episodes without him. The gang can't understand their problem. Penny admitted that it might have been because it was just after their adventure getting a Christmas tree. It is their car with Penny wearing reindeer antlers and Leonard an elf hat and his Spock ears. She finds a Christmas tree farm where they can cut their own tree down. Afterwards they are dirty and disheveled. Leonard forgot and let go of the ax when swinging it. And was wearing his mittens in 70 degree heat since he blisters easily. Leonard doesn't want them to fight so he stops and then the Christmas tree falls off the car roof across their windshield. "There's something on the windshield," quips Penny sarcastically. Next they are dragging the tree up the stairs and Penny keeps asking Leonard if he needs a break. No. Then Penny is standing next to the tree which now is on top of Leonard. Finally after dragging the tree through the door of their apartment Leonard remarks that they can now decorate it while Penny wonders if he wants to take gasoline to set it on fire. Both collapse on the couch. It appears that something alive is in the tree which subsequently gets dumped down the elevator shaft.
Sheldon asks how life with their baby is and that he doesn't want to touch it. Bernadette claims that it is wonderful, though at their house a tired and disheveled Bernadette enters as she can't get Halley to stop crying. Rajesh claims that when his baby brother began crying, the servants would just take the baby to another part of the house. Bernadette is frustrated since her breasts have been emptied and she doesn't know what else Halley wants. The baby settles down as Bernie wonders out loud what she and Howard have done. Howard returns from shopping with superhero baby wipes as the baby wakes up. Stuart runs in and Halley stops. Bernadette breaks into tears because she couldn't do that. She thinks that everyone is a better mother than her. Raj suggests that the baby is just a jerk and Bernadette really starts bawling. Stuart tells the gang that the sound of his voice puts people to sleep. Bernadette is also seen crying in bed thinking that the baby hates her even though she also feeds her. The baby starts crying, causing Bernadette to cry again, and having the same effect on Howard.
Sheldon checks on new mothers on the Internet and that 80% get baby blues. For a remedy Sheldon tells Bernadette that she is doing a good job. When Raj asks, Stuart tells everyone that he went to see his grandmother with his siblings; everybody falls asleep. They are all just kidding. As everyone leaves, Howard announces his intent to take a paternity leave, then he circles back because they forgot the baby. They are still new at the parenting thing.
Title reference: The couples tell stories that summarize what happened to them during the holidays.
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