Lucifer (TV Series)
The Sin Bin (2017)
Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar
Photos
Quotes
-
Chloe Decker : What is Trixie doing coloring crime scene photos at a desk when we have a psychotic killer in custody?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, she's done wonders with that mangled corpse, though. Very artistic.
-
Lucifer Morningstar : Actually, you know what, I'll boil you alive. Yeah. Top most painful way to die, according to BuzzFeed.
-
Lucifer Morningstar : You tried waterboarding?
Mazikeen : Twice.
Lucifer Morningstar : Bamboo under the nails?
Mazikeen : Do I look like an amateur?
Lucifer Morningstar : Nickelback on repeat?
Mazikeen : That's where I started.
-
Chloe Decker : Derby Divas versus the Blazing Banshees. It's derby's most notorious rivalry.
Lucifer Morningstar : Oh, ladies to go. I'll take two.
Chloe Decker : [Watching the skaters] Whoa! Nice sausage.
Lucifer Morningstar : What? So, those aren't ladies?
-
Lucifer Morningstar : He's clearly your Moby Dick, and we all know what happened to Captain Ahab.
[Pierce gives him look]
Lucifer Morningstar : Felled by savage revenge, dragged to the bottom of the sea? Gosh, did they teach you nothing at cop school?
Marcus Pierce : I've read Moby Dick. Six times.
Lucifer Morningstar : Oh, really. What happened on page 83?
-
Lucifer Morningstar : I'm telling you. Obi Wan Can't-See-Me is Maggie's only hope.
-
Lucifer Morningstar : Finally, Maze, answers will be mine.
Mazikeen : Right.
Lucifer Morningstar : If you could say that with less sarcasm, I'd appreciate it.
Mazikeen : No, no, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure a human jail will stop a soldier of God.
Lucifer Morningstar : That's actually *more* sarcasm.
-
Lucifer Morningstar : If I kill a human, then I lose my wings! And, because I've been such a naughty angel, I get my devil face back, and... bonus!... I rid humanity of our sightless psychopath. Three birds, one Sinnerman.
-
Lucifer Morningstar : Why don't you two make yourselves comfortable and I'll take first crack at Helen Killer here.
[Gets angry looks]
Lucifer Morningstar : What? I thought he deserved a new nickname now that he's blind.
-
Lucifer Morningstar : [Lucifer's answering machine] Hello. This is Lucifer. You know what to do... preferably in the nude.
-
Sinnerman : It really is true, how the other senses kick in once one is removed.
Lucifer Morningstar : I can remove a few others if you'd like.
-
Sinnerman : The only way she'll survive is if I take you to her.
Lucifer Morningstar : Right. Who's up for a field trip?
-
Chloe Decker : Can we ask you a few questions?
Helena Handbasket : Eat me!
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, please.
-
Lucifer Morningstar : I have no idea what "The Sin Bin" is, but I approve.
-
Chloe Decker : Where were you last night, Helena?
Helena Handbasket : I was on fresh meat patrol.
Lucifer Morningstar : Ooh, good for you, Helena.
Chloe Decker : No, it means training a new crew.
-
Mazikeen : Good luck mojoing a blind guy.
Lucifer Morningstar : I don't need eyes to find out the Sinnerman's desire, ergo his weakness. There are other ways to learn what someone wants.
Mazikeen : What ways?
Lucifer Morningstar : [Has no clue] Just... ways.
-
Blindfolded Hottie : [Trying to hit piñata, falls into Lucifer] Whoops! It's so hard.
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, always, but why don't I help you with your stick first?
-
Lucifer Morningstar : I guess we'll just have to go nut to butt, have Charlie do the foxtrot, cover each other's sixes and all that. You know? Hooah!
[Pierce gives him a look]
Lucifer Morningstar : Military terms. Weren't you a serviceman?
Marcus Pierce : Yeah. We don't talk like that.
-
Marcus Pierce : Last time you talked to him, he gouged his own eyes out.
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, a minor inconvenience, especially for him. I mean, can you imagine living in L.A. and not being able to enjoy the sunset?
-
Chloe Decker : I actually have a plan. But in order for it to work, you need to do exactly what I say. No more going off grid, no more destroying trace evidence, no more Luciferness. Is that clear?
Lucifer Morningstar : As a chilled vodka martini. Served neat, of course.
-
Lucifer Morningstar : Nothing screams weekend like tequila and scantily-clad women. And tequila. Cheers.
Mazikeen : It's Wednesday.