- Chloe Decker: What is Trixie doing coloring crime scene photos at a desk when we have a psychotic killer in custody?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, she's done wonders with that mangled corpse, though. Very artistic.
- Dan Espinoza: [to Charlotte] Maybe we can go grab that coffee sometime?
- Trixie Espinoza: Dinner would be more romantic.
- Dan Espinoza, Charlotte: It's okay by me.
- [They smile at each other]
- Charlotte: Dinner it is.
- Dan Espinoza: [Trixie leaves with Dan] You are the best wingman ever.
- Trixie Espinoza: You don't have kids, do you?
- Charlotte: Actually, I do. Two. They live with their father.
- Trixie Espinoza: That makes sense.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Actually, you know what, I'll boil you alive. Yeah. Top most painful way to die, according to BuzzFeed.
- Lucifer Morningstar: You tried waterboarding?
- Mazikeen: Twice.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Bamboo under the nails?
- Mazikeen: Do I look like an amateur?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Nickelback on repeat?
- Mazikeen: That's where I started.
- Chloe Decker: Derby Divas versus the Blazing Banshees. It's derby's most notorious rivalry.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, ladies to go. I'll take two.
- Chloe Decker: [Watching the skaters] Whoa! Nice sausage.
- Lucifer Morningstar: What? So, those aren't ladies?
- Lucifer Morningstar: He's clearly your Moby Dick, and we all know what happened to Captain Ahab.
- [Pierce gives him look]
- Lucifer Morningstar: Felled by savage revenge, dragged to the bottom of the sea? Gosh, did they teach you nothing at cop school?
- Marcus Pierce: I've read Moby Dick. Six times.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, really. What happened on page 83?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Finally, Maze, answers will be mine.
- Mazikeen: Right.
- Lucifer Morningstar: If you could say that with less sarcasm, I'd appreciate it.
- Mazikeen: No, no, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure a human jail will stop a soldier of God.
- Lucifer Morningstar: That's actually *more* sarcasm.
- Lucifer Morningstar: If I kill a human, then I lose my wings! And, because I've been such a naughty angel, I get my devil face back, and... bonus!... I rid humanity of our sightless psychopath. Three birds, one Sinnerman.
- Dan Espinoza: Human heads. Explosives. Can someone send me, I don't know, a muffin basket next time? That'd be nice.
- Ella Lopez: I just love watching Pierce work. It's like a master class in ass whoop with a minor in whatevs.
- Chloe Decker: [about Pierce] This isn't even my secret to share.
- Ella Lopez: Right, of course, 'cause he's so private and brooding and... hot. Not that that is at all relevant.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Why don't you two make yourselves comfortable and I'll take first crack at Helen Killer here.
- [Gets angry looks]
- Lucifer Morningstar: What? I thought he deserved a new nickname now that he's blind.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [Lucifer's answering machine] Hello. This is Lucifer. You know what to do... preferably in the nude.
- Sinnerman: It really is true, how the other senses kick in once one is removed.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I can remove a few others if you'd like.
- Sinnerman: The only way she'll survive is if I take you to her.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Right. Who's up for a field trip?
- Chloe Decker: Can we ask you a few questions?
- Helena Handbasket: Eat me!
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, please.
- Chloe Decker: Where were you last night, Helena?
- Helena Handbasket: I was on fresh meat patrol.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Ooh, good for you, Helena.
- Chloe Decker: No, it means training a new crew.
- Mazikeen: Good luck mojoing a blind guy.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I don't need eyes to find out the Sinnerman's desire, ergo his weakness. There are other ways to learn what someone wants.
- Mazikeen: What ways?
- Lucifer Morningstar: [Has no clue] Just... ways.
- Blindfolded Hottie: [Trying to hit piñata, falls into Lucifer] Whoops! It's so hard.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, always, but why don't I help you with your stick first?
- Mazikeen: Text me when you've done the deed. Actually... I'll be able to tell by the plague of locusts.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I guess we'll just have to go nut to butt, have Charlie do the foxtrot, cover each other's sixes and all that. You know? Hooah!
- [Pierce gives him a look]
- Lucifer Morningstar: Military terms. Weren't you a serviceman?
- Marcus Pierce: Yeah. We don't talk like that.
- Marcus Pierce: Last time you talked to him, he gouged his own eyes out.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, a minor inconvenience, especially for him. I mean, can you imagine living in L.A. and not being able to enjoy the sunset?
- Chloe Decker: I actually have a plan. But in order for it to work, you need to do exactly what I say. No more going off grid, no more destroying trace evidence, no more Luciferness. Is that clear?
- Lucifer Morningstar: As a chilled vodka martini. Served neat, of course.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Nothing screams weekend like tequila and scantily-clad women. And tequila. Cheers.
- Mazikeen: It's Wednesday.