- Lucifer Morningstar: I woke up alone.
- Marcus Pierce: And?
- Lucifer Morningstar: It's funny because I usually don't, because I usually have women over. Or men. Or both. For sex.
- Phil Goldstein: If producing nine legal shows taught me anything, it's that I don't have to say jack without a lawyer.
- Chloe Decker: Go home. You're tired.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Okay. Fine. But, only if I can borrow these.
- [Holds up her handcuffs]
- Lucifer Morningstar: I promise I'll bring them back.
- Chloe Decker: Please don't.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Will he be coming with you from now on? Because he is killing our banter.
- Chloe Decker: Absolutely not, no. Pierce and I only came...
- [Realizes what she just said]
- Chloe Decker: Drove together just this one time. One time.
- Lucifer Morningstar: So what have we got, Booth?
- Chloe Decker: Booth?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, the FBI agent on "Bones".
- Chloe Decker: The TV show?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Uh-huh. Watched all 12 seasons. It's riveting stuff. It's like watching a documentary of us.
- Charlotte: [to passing person] Your casserole tastes like roadkill.
- [Walks up to man]
- Charlotte: Oh, and you. Stop telling stories about your children, 'cause no one cares.
- [Sees woman]
- Charlotte: Hmm, Sally.
- Woman: Hi, Charlotte.
- Charlotte: It's not the clothes that make you look fat. It's the fat.
- Woman: Ugh!
- [Huffs off]
- Charlotte: Yeah. Oof.
- [Runs into Ella]
- Charlotte: And you... . You are pretty great, actually.
- Ella Lopez: Uh, thanks?
- Marcus Pierce: [about Chloe] I think she's holding back.
- Ella Lopez: She hasn't said the magic words
- Marcus Pierce: What magic words?
- Ella Lopez: You know. Those three little words. Rhymes with "my guv boo."
- Mazikeen: I got to admit, getting her to fall for you, and then, poof, vanishing... ruthless. And that's saying something coming from a demon. Respect.
- Lucifer Morningstar: No offense, brother, but on the list of things I'd like to wake up to, your face falls somewhere after a horse's head and Coldplay tickets.
- Lucifer Morningstar: You're clearly Booth. I'm Bones, obviously
- Chloe Decker: Obviously.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Kevin's autopsy report. Good.
- [Flicks through the pages]
- Lucifer Morningstar: Now, I've been thinking, perhaps there was a slight depression on the occipital, or slight fractures to the femur? Did you know there were 206 bones in a human body? Each of them a clue, sometimes twice. And the coccyx is not what it sounds-...
- Chloe Decker: No coccyx.
- Rosie Hernandez: An angel, who saved me. It flew in here, and it just chased the evil man away.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [laughs] I'm sorry, sorry, it's just the only thing my siblings would chase away are a good time.
- Rosie Hernandez: The angel... he took one of my figurines. Gabriel.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Right. Try lending him some money. Your tune changes rather quickly.
- Charlotte: I got you covered. I'll put in a word with the big guy.
- Dan Espinoza: With Pierce?
- Charlotte: No, think bigger.
- Dan Espinoza: The commissioner?
- Charlotte: It's an anadrome for D-O-G.
- Linda Martin: And you don't remember how the figurine got into your bedroom?
- Lucifer Morningstar: No. I mean, maybe it's a housewarming gift or... or a sex toy. Or a housewarming gift sex toy.
- Linda Martin: You've been complaining about having weird dreams lately. Including one where you couldn't control your wings.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I've also dreamt I was king of the centaur people. Doesn't mean I'm gonna start wearing horseshoes.
- Trixie Espinoza: Did you know if you're ever mean to me, I can just go on this site and order a new mommy?
- Chloe Decker: Oh, yeah? How you gonna pay for that?
- Trixie Espinoza: Your credit card. I've gotten pretty good at your signature, you know.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [Confronting suspect] I know you killed Kevin Winstead. And I know you killed that intern at the hospital. Yeah. Burned her body. Only her cranium was left in the smoldering, smoldering ashes.
- Chloe Decker: ...Lucifer. Lucifer. Are you talking about an episode of Bones?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Wha...?
- [Thinks]
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, yes. Oh, yes, no, I suppose I am, actually. Yes, episode 306. "The Intern in the Incinerator."
- [Turns to suspect, who is the actor from said episode]
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, of course. You were quite good.
- Matt Kessman: Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, that wasn't an easy role.
- Mazikeen: Well, if you go by someone else's pace, it shows how much you really care.
- Chloe Decker: That's... incredibly insightful.
- Mazikeen: I learned it from sex.
- Chloe Decker: That's more you.
- Charlotte: So then, I said, "You can stick that brief in the circular file under your robe." Hint: it's his butt.
- Chloe Decker: We'd like to ask you a few questions about Kevin Winstead.
- Phil Goldstein: The answer's yes... he's a douchebag.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Did you know that he was murdered?
- Phil Goldstein: No, but it's nice to get good news for a change.