The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Sibling Realignment (2018)
Kunal Nayyar: Raj Koothrappali
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm trying to invite my stupid brother to my wedding, and he's avoiding my calls.
Raj Koothrappali : You don't know he's avoiding your calls.
[Sheldon dials his phone and puts the call on speakerphone]
George Cooper Jr. : Hey, you've reached George Cooper. Please leave a message, unless this is Sheldon again, in which case please try me on my other number, 1-800-SUCKIT.
Sheldon Cooper : See? And I know that's not a real number because why would it be toll-free?
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Raj Koothrappali : Hey, why didn't you invite him in the first place?
Sheldon Cooper : You don't know what it was like growing up with him.
Raj Koothrappali : I get it; I grew up with lots of brothers. My brother Adoot was especially mean.
Leonard Hofstadter : Really? I've never heard you mention Adoot.
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah, sure I have. He's the one who left the door open when were kids, and my pet mongoose ran away. Stupid Adoot!
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : So, how was your date?
Raj Koothrappali : [with both eyes puffy and infected] It was going well until my eye dripped in her latte.
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Raj Koothrappali : So am I gonna be, like, the only single guy at Sheldon's wedding?
Leonard Hofstadter : No. There-there'll be a lot of single people there. Stuart, Amy's great-aunt; although, Stuart's already friended her on Facebook, so, better move quick.
Raj Koothrappali : I got to find a date. I don't want to be that sad single friend that everyone looks at with pity.
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, I'm-I'm afraid that ship may have sailed.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Aren't you worried it's a little intense to ask someone you just met to go to a wedding?
Raj Koothrappali : I'm running out of time. Wh-wh-why can't there be a service where you can just pay someone to be your date for the evening?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Like an escort service?
Raj Koothrappali : No, no, no. Y-You wouldn't be paying for sex. I mean, obviously if things went well, it could lead to sex, but-but the money is for, like, you know, her time and companionship.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, I get it. An escort service.
Raj Koothrappali : Stop saying that.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Stop meaning it.
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Howard Wolowitz : Hey, Raj, remember when you borrowed my VR goggles the other day?
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah.
Howard Wolowitz : [revealing his swollen, infected eye] Probably shouldn't have done that.
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Howard Wolowitz : Bernadette says they're checking the kids now.
Penny Hofstadter : You know, maybe we didn't all need to come.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Hey, whatever kind of pinkeye their kids have, I have, and I need to know. And if it's viral, I'm screwed.
Howard Wolowitz : Maybe not. You know, I know it's not traditional wedding attire, but how about a welder's mask?
Raj Koothrappali : If you know a welder, that could be your "something borrowed."
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : We're so sorry we ruined your date.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, boo hoo! His date got ruined. I'm about to get married, and look at me.
Penny Hofstadter : It looks like it's getting better.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, does it? Does it look like that with your *two clear eyes*?
Penny Hofstadter : I'm sorry. Are you mad that I don't have pinkeye?
Amy Farrah Fowler : [simultanously with the others] What do you think?
Bernadette Rostenkowski , Howard Wolowitz , Raj Koothrappali : Yes!