The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Neonatal Nomenclature (2018)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : [denying he watched "La La Land" four times] See, see. Look at my Netflix queue. There's two documentaries and the movie "Friends with Benefits", which I thought was a documentary about employer health care plans.
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Sheldon Cooper : All right, that moves us on to the tactical shipping phase. Penny, I believe as logistics commander, that's you.
Penny Hofstadter : Okay.
[waving a white napkin]
Penny Hofstadter : I surrender.
Sheldon Cooper : Nice try, Penny. It takes more than everybody not enjoying it to stop a game with Sheldon Cooper.
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Sheldon Cooper : [Beginning the play of The Campaign for North Africa] First we must roll to figure out the weather.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : It's the desert. Isn't it supposed to be hot?
Sheldon Cooper : [holds up the "hold on" finger, rolls the dice, then checks one thing in the manual, then holds up the "hold on" finger again, rolls the dice again, then looks at another page in the manual sideways, appearing to read a couple of lines quickly, then] Yes.
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Sheldon Cooper : Hey, Bernadette, it's your turn. Penny's air force is strafing your supply line in Tobruk.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : We're kind of busy.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh. 'Kay. But you're being pretty rude. Everyone did come over to play this game with you.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon, we're talking about something important here.
Sheldon Cooper : Fine. If you pick a baby name, can we get back to playing?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Sure.
Sheldon Cooper : All right, here we go. Ranatanata.
Raj Koothrappali : You can't name him Ranatanata.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, right, it's a boy. That'd be ridiculous. What about Ozymandias?
Penny Hofstadter : Are you making these up or having a stroke?
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Sheldon Cooper : Guys, wake up. Terrible news.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, my god. What, what, what? Is it the baby?
Sheldon Cooper : No. No, no, we miscalculated our unassigned armor class units. We need to start over.
Raj Koothrappali : What?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, no, no, no, not from the beginning. Just from when the tanks started moving.
Leonard Hofstadter : That was five hours ago.
Sheldon Cooper : [checking his watch] Mm, no. No, that was two hours ago. It only feels like five.
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Sheldon Cooper : I believe today is Bernadette's due date.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah. How do you know that?
Sheldon Cooper : Easy. Forty weeks from the date of her last period.
Howard Wolowitz : And why do you know that?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, excuse me for taking an interest in people.
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Sheldon Cooper : Not to brag, but Amy's last birthday brought my coital tally up to four.
Leonard Hofstadter : Whatever you're doing, it's not bragging.
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Sheldon Cooper : Hello.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Let me guess. You're here to try to get me to go into labor.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, please. I-I'm disgusted when people sneeze, and that's just stuff coming out of their nose. No. I am here to sit with you and keep you company.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, that's nice.
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, by playing the most complicated board game ever invented: "Campaign for North Africa". I bought it off eBay. It smells a little like chili, but all the pieces are there.
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Howard Wolowitz : Michael? Really, you think we're naming him Michael?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Not now, Howard. I'm in the middle of a game.
Sheldon Cooper : You wish. You are hundreds of hours away from the middle.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : You know what, maybe we should go.
Howard Wolowitz : Did you have another contraction?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : No. I'm just worried that Sheldon's gonna say "mucus plug" again.
Sheldon Cooper : And I'm worried one's gonna hit me in the eye.
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Sheldon Cooper : Suez? Birth? It's a big night for canals.
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Howard Wolowitz : You okay?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Uh, I think that was a contraction.
Howard Wolowitz : Is it time? Do we need to go the hospital?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : No. We've been through this before. My water hasn't even broken yet.
Sheldon Cooper : Never mind your water. Has your mucus plug popped out?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Ew, no!
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, you're right. We probably would've heard that.
Penny Hofstadter : It's not a champagne cork. Although, that would be festive.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : Hey, guys.
Leonard Hofstadter , Howard Wolowitz , Raj Koothrappali : Hey.
Sheldon Cooper : Hey, I was just talking about you.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, should I ask?
Leonard Hofstadter : You should not.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : I'm trying to get our grant proposal together. Any chance you've finished those mechanical drawings?
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, sorry. I was gonna do it last night, but I got kind of busy.
Raj Koothrappali : [winking] Yeah, you did.
Amy Farrah Fowler : What are they talking about?
Sheldon Cooper : I'll give you a hint. It's something that we have done four times.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Watched "La La Land"?
Sheldon Cooper : What? No. No. I've not watched "La La Land" four times. If you find the soundtrack on my phone, that just 'cause our iTunes accounts are linked.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : [seeing "Campaign for North Africa" all laid out] Aw, come on!
Sheldon Cooper : Welcome to the next five to eight weeks of your life.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Sheldon, I said I didn't want to play your game.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, then don't think of it as a game. Think of it as a source of information about one of the lesser-known campaigns of World War II.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [sarcastic] You're right. That's so much better.
Sheldon Cooper : I know, right?
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Amy Farrah Fowler : I think I got Bernadette in trouble. Maybe we should go.
Sheldon Cooper : I... I can't. She and I are playing "Campaign for North Africa".
Amy Farrah Fowler : She doesn't want to play that.
Sheldon Cooper : Neither did the Egyptians, but that didn't stop Rommel.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : What are you guys doing here?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, Sheldon texted and said Bernadette wanted us all to come over.
Sheldon Cooper : [seeing her expression] The game's best with five to ten players.
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Sheldon Cooper : Bernadette, it's your turn.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : What about Greg?
Sheldon Cooper : All right, I'll just roll for you.
[he does so]
Sheldon Cooper : Ooh! That is a good one! Your troops' morale rating is pretty high. Now, Leonard, as the defender, we need to subtract your morale rating from Bernadette's to get a final adjusted morale rating for the assault. And I will just check the assault differential column. Ooh! Who said war was hell? Yeah, that's a rhetorical question. Sherman said it.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Some people name their kids after places.
Howard Wolowitz : Like what, Walla Walla Wolowitz?
Sheldon Cooper : If you think that is better than Ozymandias Wolowitz, then you have been breathing in the poisonous gas that my troops illegally dispersed.
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Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, I like the name Elliott. That wasn't on my list, but I like it.
Raj Koothrappali : We've heard your names. They're ridiculous. And I have a cousin named Dilip.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : You've thought about our kids?
Sheldon Cooper : Of course. I think you and I will have exceptional children.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Aw. Well, I think so, too.
Raj Koothrappali : How many kids do you guys want?
Sheldon Cooper : Fifteen.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Two.
[giving him a weird look]
Amy Farrah Fowler : What?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, don't worry. I don't expect you to bear them all. I'm sure we can find a suitable uterus to rent.
Leonard Hofstadter : [they both turn to glance at Penny] No!
Penny Hofstadter : Uh-uh!