The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Tenant Disassociation (2018)
Kaley Cuoco: Penny Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Amy Farrah Fowler : Look, there are a bunch of other tenants in this buiding. All you need is for one of them to vote your way, and then Sheldon's out and I didn't betray him.
Penny Hofstadter : Hey, you know, that's actually a good plan.
Amy Farrah Fowler : That you came up with all by yourself. Now, if you'll excuse me, told Sheldon I was going to the market, so... I'm taking some of your stuff.
[she takes a few items from the fridge]
Amy Farrah Fowler : [leaving] I was never here.
Leonard Hofstadter : Sometimes you don't see it 'cause she's next to Sheldon, but she's pretty weird.
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Penny Hofstadter : So, let me get this straight. You are the president of the tenants' association?
Sheldon Cooper : President, only member, and harshest critic. I once gave myself an official reprimand for conducting a meeting in the shower. The steam warped my gavel.
Penny Hofstadter : Okay, so when I got a fine for leaving my clothes in the dryer for too long, that was from you?
Sheldon Cooper : $14.99. The exact price of a new gavel.
Leonard Hofstadter : And the noise complaint we got for singing you "Happy Birthday"?
Sheldon Cooper : As a friend, I was touched. As a representative of the building, I thought that you should pick a key and stick with it.
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Penny Hofstadter : Do you know he is the entire tenants' association?
Amy Farrah Fowler : No, but I'm not surprised. He's also the pope of a planet he invented in hyperspace.
[to Sheldon]
Amy Farrah Fowler : Why didn't you tell me?
Sheldon Cooper : 'Cause I wanted to make sure that you loved the man, not the office.
Leonard Hofstadter : You can't just declare yourself president.
Sheldon Cooper : I didn't. I called a meeting, I was the only one to attend. I nominated myself, and after a pretty moving speech, I voted myself in.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : It's not your fault. I mean, what man wouldn't be seduced by the power to decide how late the laundry room stays open?
Penny Hofstadter : Wait, you're the reason I had to come back and get my jeans the next morning?
Sheldon Cooper : I can't believe you expect me to give that up!
Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon, it's the American way, the peaceful transfer of power.
Sheldon Cooper : I don't know.
Leonard Hofstadter : Think about "Ant-Man".
Sheldon Cooper : I'm always thinking about "Ant-Man"!
Leonard Hofstadter : Michael Douglas had the suit, and then he passed it on to Paul Rudd.
Sheldon Cooper : Maybe you're right.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Really? The "Ant-Man" thing? That's what won you over?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes. He got the details right. That's how you use a superhero.
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry, I think you're forgetting that the sandwich was invented by John Montagu, the Earl of Sandwich.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh! The truck's called "Pearl of Sandwich." Now I get it.
Howard Wolowitz : All right, that smells too good. I got to get one of those.
Amy Farrah Fowler : And I think you're forgetting that there are written documents of meat between bread being eating in China during the Tang dynasty.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : You know what? I think I'll go with you. And then maybe we just go home.
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Penny Hofstadter : The pastrami truck moved.
Leonard Hofstadter : [not really listening] That is the danger of a restaurant on wheels.
Penny Hofstadter : No, apparently someone complained to the tenants' association, and they're not allowed to park on our street anymore.
Leonard Hofstadter : Who would complain about something that everyone loves?
[realizing who it must be]
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh...
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Leonard Hofstadter : Did you complain to the tenants' association about the food truck?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes.
Penny Hofstadter : And they actually took you seriously?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, the tenants' association takes every complaint seriously.
Penny Hofstadter : [on her phone] Oh, great, because I'm about to send them an e-mail complaining about you.
Sheldon Cooper : [his phone chimes] Excuse me.
[reading the message]
Sheldon Cooper : Wow. Someone should have spell-checked.
Penny Hofstadter : What is going on here?
Leonard Hofstadter : You're the tenants' association?
Sheldon Cooper : [amused] You should see the look on your face. You might want to tell your wife that there's no "Y" in "pastrami".
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Penny Hofstadter : Ugh, I can't believe my best friend sided with Sheldon.
Leonard Hofstadter : I can't believe my best friend *is* Sheldon. Ah, I should have taken that gavel and shoved it right down his throat.
Penny Hofstadter : Ugh. I would've gone the other way, but it would've gotten to his throat.
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Penny Hofstadter : So, Mrs. Petrescu, we were hoping you would vote for Leonard instead of voting for Sheldon.
Mrs. Petrescu : Vote Sheldon.
Penny Hofstadter : No, no. Vote Leonard.
Mrs. Petrescu : No vote Leonard.
Leonard Hofstadter : No. Vote Leonard.
Mrs. Petrescu : Thank you.
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Sheldon Cooper : I suppose it is time I passed this on to Leonard.
Penny Hofstadter : Thank you.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, thanks. I-I know that's hard for you.
Sheldon Cooper : It was. But you know what? Instead of being in charge, I can now be the vocal opposition, criticizing and badgering the president at every turn.
Amy Farrah Fowler : I think you'll be really good at that.
Sheldon Cooper : Me, too.
Leonard Hofstadter : I think I've made a huge mistake.
Penny Hofstadter : Me, too.
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Leonard Hofstadter : What you got there?
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, I grabbed a sandwich at the food truck out front.
Sheldon Cooper : Wait, n-now hold on. Tonight is Friday, and I believe you know what that means.
Penny Hofstadter : That my fun, young life took a drastic turn somewhere?
Sheldon Cooper : No.
Leonard Hofstadter : But yeah.
Sheldon Cooper : No, that means it's Chinese food night.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, and you have Chinese food, so eat it.
Sheldon Cooper : But I can smell your pastrami.
Howard Wolowitz : And we can all hear your complaining, so no one's happy.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Well, if you can vote yourself in, then we can vote you out.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah.
Sheldon Cooper : Fine. Make a motion at the next meeting.
Leonard Hofstadter : When is it?
Sheldon Cooper : It's the first Saturday of every month. Unless there's an emergency meeting.
Penny Hofstadter : Then we call an emergency meeting.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, you really don't have to. This is the first Saturday of the month.
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Penny Hofstadter : Okay, can we vote you out now?
Sheldon Cooper : Ah, very well. New business.
Leonard Hofstadter : I move for a vote of no confidence in the president.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah.
Leonard Hofstadter : Two to one, you lose.
Sheldon Cooper : Not so fast. I believe we can one tenant here who has not made her voice heard.
Amy Farrah Fowler : [everyone turns to look at her] Oh...
Sheldon Cooper : We're waiting, fiancée.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, we're waiting, best friend.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, we're waiting, neighbor who... needed a battery and totally got one from me, no strings attached.
Amy Farrah Fowler : I don't want to be in the middle of this. No matter which way I vote, I'm either a bad friend, a bad fiancée, or an ungrateful recipient of a battery.
Sheldon Cooper : Next time I have a meeting in the shower, you're welcome to attend.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon! Sheldon for president! I pick Sheldon!
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Penny Hofstadter : So you just let him get away with anything?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Well, not anything. But honestly, "pastrami sandwich" is not the hill I want to die on.
Penny Hofstadter : It's not about the sandwich. It's about the principle.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, principle. And a little bit sandwich.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah.
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Leonard Hofstadter : So, I'm running for president of the tenants' association, and I could really use your vote.
Wendell : Uh, who's president now?
Penny Hofstadter : Uh, Sheldon Cooper. You know, about yea tall and about yea annoying.
[holding her arms as wide as she can]
Wendell : So you want me to vote against Sheldon Cooper?
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah. You just need to show up at a meeting...
Wendell : Oh, no, no. No can do. He's got a restraining order against me.
Penny Hofstadter : Really? Why?
Wendell : Uh, I locked him on the roof once.
[mouthing]
Wendell : Three times.
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Leonard Hofstadter : We found something pretty interesting.
Amy Farrah Fowler : [transparently] Huh. Well, that is suprising. I, for one, have no idea what they're talking about.
Leonard Hofstadter : Turns out when Amy took over Penny's apartment, she was put on the lease, not you.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, and when I moved across the hall, you got taken off the lease and I got added.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Well, what are you saying? That Sheldon's not technically a tenant at all and therefore has no standing to be president of the tenants' association, no matter who votes for him? I don't know how you found that out, but I am guessing all on your own.
Leonard Hofstadter : So, looks like we need to figure out who the new president should be. I nominate myself.
Penny Hofstadter : I second it.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Huh. Well, as a woman in love, I want to stand by my man. Too bad that's been rendered bureaucratically impossible.