The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Tenant Disassociation (2018)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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Raj Koothrappali : [Cynthia watches a video from her drone's memory card] Stop flying it around. You're gonna break it.
Howard Wolowitz : Why do you care?
Raj Koothrappali : Because we have to give it back to the beautiful mystery girl.
Cynthia : Aw.
Raj Koothrappali : I mean, did you see how hot she was? I want to get all up in that and start making babies!
[her face distorts in disgust]
Raj Koothrappali : I know exactly what underwear I'm gonna wear on our first date. None!
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Raj Koothrappali : [relaxing in Howard's jacuzzi] Oh, this is the life. What could be better than this?
Howard Wolowitz : If you weren't wearing one of my swimsuits.
Raj Koothrappali : I'll give it back.
Howard Wolowitz : You know the rule. Once it touches heinie, it's no longer miney.
Raj Koothrappali : You're such a prude. Do you know all the things this water's touching right now?
Howard Wolowitz : [getting out] Well, I'm relaxed enough.
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry, I think you're forgetting that the sandwich was invented by John Montagu, the Earl of Sandwich.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh! The truck's called "Pearl of Sandwich." Now I get it.
Howard Wolowitz : All right, that smells too good. I got to get one of those.
Amy Farrah Fowler : And I think you're forgetting that there are written documents of meat between bread being eating in China during the Tang dynasty.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : You know what? I think I'll go with you. And then maybe we just go home.
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Howard Wolowitz : She's wearing a pin from your store. Do you know who she is?
Stuart Bloom : Oh, sure, yeah. That's Cynthia.
Raj Koothrappali : Wha- so... so, she's a customer?
Stuart Bloom : Yeah, yeah, but I-I haven't seen her in a while. And before you say anything, there's a lot of reasons women stop coming here. It's not just me.
Howard Wolowitz : But this time...
Stuart Bloom : I-It was me, yeah. I was trying out a flirty new smile.
[he demonstrates a strained smile]
Howard Wolowitz : Now, I don't use the word "ghoulish" a lot, but... I-I just can't think of another word.
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Howard Wolowitz : Can't believe you got her number.
Raj Koothrappali : I know, right? How amazing would it be if this worked out and the story of how I met my wife started with you and me in the hot tub together?
Howard Wolowitz : Well, do us both a favor and start the story later.
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Sheldon Cooper : Why are you wearing a Band-Aid?
Raj Koothrappali : Halley bit me.
Leonard Hofstadter : [laughing] You got beaten up by a girl.
Howard Wolowitz : Hey, that's sexist.
Leonard Hofstadter : You're right.
[he laughs again]
Leonard Hofstadter : You got beaten up by a baby.
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Leonard Hofstadter : What you got there?
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, I grabbed a sandwich at the food truck out front.
Sheldon Cooper : Wait, n-now hold on. Tonight is Friday, and I believe you know what that means.
Penny Hofstadter : That my fun, young life took a drastic turn somewhere?
Sheldon Cooper : No.
Leonard Hofstadter : But yeah.
Sheldon Cooper : No, that means it's Chinese food night.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, and you have Chinese food, so eat it.
Sheldon Cooper : But I can smell your pastrami.
Howard Wolowitz : And we can all hear your complaining, so no one's happy.
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Raj Koothrappali : Hey, Howard, look. What's that?
Howard Wolowitz : Huh. Looks like someone's drone.
Raj Koothrappali : Oh, no. Do you think it was spying on us in the hot tub? 'Cause I'm only 40% of the way to my beach bod.
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Howard Wolowitz : Okay, that ought to do it. I replaced the propeller and re-attached the gimbal controller unit.
Raj Koothrappali : Dude, you're like "Grey's Anatomy" for robots. Also, why isn't that a show?
Howard Wolowitz : I just need to see if I can re-sync the controls to this old remote.
Raj Koothrappali : We should name it.
Howard Wolowitz : What, the drone or your stupid robot show?
Raj Koothrappali : The drone. The show's already got a name: "General Bot-spital".
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Howard Wolowitz : I got it working!
Raj Koothrappali : Oh, oh! Let's play William Tell. I'll put this bowl on my head. See if you can knock it off without hitting me.
Howard Wolowitz : You read my mind.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [entering] What are you doing?
Howard Wolowitz : Either breaking a bowl or breaking Raj's head.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Be careful. They don't make that bowl anymore.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Aren't you worried there's some kid out there missing his drone?
Raj Koothrappali : Uh, oh, please, Bernadette, this is not a children's toy, okay? This thing's got a HD camera on it.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Okay, then aren't you worried there's some rich peeping Tom out there missing his drone?
Howard Wolowitz : We asked around, and no one claimed it. I think we've done all we can do.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Did you check the video card? Maybe you can see where it started off from.
Howard Wolowitz : [sarcastic] What a great idea, honey.
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Howard Wolowitz : Do you see anything that could help us locate her?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Hmm, let me have a look.
Howard Wolowitz : She's got eagle eyes, always spotting continuity errors in movies. It's not annoying at all.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh. There. Right there. Check out the pin on her jacket. It's that from the comic book store?
Raj Koothrappali : Hmm, is it? Hey, Howard, zoom in.
Howard Wolowitz : Oh. Fine. Zooming in.
[making a whooshing sound, he holds the laptop up to Raj's face]
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah, I know you're being a jerk, but it's actually helpful.
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Raj Koothrappali : Hey, please let me bring the drone back to her.
Howard Wolowitz : You think you've got a shot? What if she's married?
Stuart Bloom : She's not.
Raj Koothrappali : It's meant to be.
Stuart Bloom : A little tip. Uh, stick with the smiles you know.