- Amy Farrah Fowler: You can't criticize something that you haven't seen.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, have you not met the internet?
- Sheldon Cooper: Howard, I want you to know I forgive you.
- Howard Wolowitz: Thanks, I'll take it.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Do you even know what he's forgiving you for?
- Howard Wolowitz: Don't know, don't care. Happy Yom Kippur to me.
- Sheldon Cooper: I just learned some distressing news. Amy sometimes doesn't do things because it would hurt my feellings.
- Howard Wolowitz: First of all, it's not sometimes, its always.
- Raj Koothrappali: Second, it's not just Amy, it's everyone.
- Howard Wolowitz: And third, it's not news, it's well established.
- Wil Wheaton: I suppose you've come here to tell me moved me to your super secret enemies list?
- Sheldon Cooper: I'll have you know I don't have a super secret enemies list, I'm not a Bond villain. I'm just a regular guy with a regular enemies, list. Which, by the way, you are no longer on.
- Wil Wheaton: Well, that's something. It's not something I care about, but it's something.
- Sheldon Cooper: Everyone thinks I'm so predictable. Well, when I come in to work tomorrow, I'm going to do something totally unexpected.
- Howard Wolowitz: Wear a baseball hat backwards to prove your point?
- Sheldon Cooper: [pause] Yes, but which hat?
- Raj Koothrappali: The one that says Gryffindor.
- Sheldon Cooper: You don't know that.
- Raj Koothrappali: It's Gryffindor.
- Sheldon Cooper: [dejected] Yeah.
- Raj Koothrappali: I don't know which Hemsworth is going to play Logan, but I'm sure it's a Hemsworth.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Well, he's based on me.
- Howard Wolowitz: So a young Paul Giamatti?
- Howard Wolowitz: If you want to be on the show, all you have to do is apologize to Wil Wheaton.
- Sheldon Cooper: That would be the mature thing to do. Let's put a pin in it and keep looking.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I believe each one of you had a motive.
- Howard Wolowitz: Who died and made you detective?
- Leonard Hofstadter: He did.
- Penny Hofstadter: Really? The Ilsa character didn't bother you?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Oh, he was exaggerating. You're not really like that.
- Penny Hofstadter: Well I know I'm not like that. The character was based on you.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I don't know what to tell you. When I brought it up with Leonard, he said it was you.
- Penny Hofstadter: Well, when I brought it up, he... got all squirrelly and left the room. Son of a bitch!
- Wil Wheaton: Time for Professor Proton's science joke of the day. Why can you not trust atoms?
- Sheldon Cooper: Hmmm.
- Wil Wheaton: Because they make up everything.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Ilsa, the head of the institute, that's clearly Penny.
- Leonard Hofstadter: No it's not.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Really? Confident, ball-busting beauty who's always rolling her eyes at Logan.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Trust me, that describes more women than you think.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I just wrote the part where the hero, hot shot physicist Logan Dean, arrives at CERN.
- Penny Hofstadter: Ooh, is he based on you?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Kind of, but he can eat dairy products without having to leave the room.
- Leonard Hofstadter: It would be nice if you didn't correct me all the time.
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: It would be nice if I didn't have to.