The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Explosion Implosion (2017)
Kaley Cuoco: Penny Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard Hofstadter : [Howard is nervous about having a son] It's okay. We're all here to help.
Sheldon Cooper : Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. You know, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, she can pee into a bottle.
Penny Hofstadter : Mm-hmm. Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.
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Penny Hofstadter : Hey, where you going?
Leonard Hofstadter : Back to the dry cleaner. Look at this. They didn't get the stain out of my Starfleet uniform.
Penny Hofstadter : Well, if you didn't make me wear the green body paint in bed, you wouldn't have to get it dry cleaned so much.
Leonard Hofstadter : Nah, it's worth it.
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Penny Hofstadter : Hey, Beverly.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : Oh, hello, Penny.
Penny Hofstadter : Uh, Leonard just left. He's gonna be so upset he missed your call.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : Why?
Penny Hofstadter : Because he... yeah, I don't know. How are you?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : Did you mean personally or professionally?
Penny Hofstadter : Um, personally? Like, what'd you do last night?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : I had Cuban food at the home of a man with whom I shared unsatisfying intercourse.
Penny Hofstadter : Wow. Okay.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : And to anticipate your next questions, roasted pork and sideways missionary.
Penny Hofstadter : Sure. Sure. 'Cause you were full.
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Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : You may find this surprising, but I don't have a lot of what you would call girlfriends.
Penny Hofstadter : [exaggerated surprise] What?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : Of course, there are my female colleagues, but, uh, they're all Freudians, so the only boy that I can dish about is my father.
Penny Hofstadter : Uh, well, you know, I'm here for you. What do you want to talk about?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : Well, last time, we focused on my life. If we're going to be real girlfriends, we should talk about you, as well.
Penny Hofstadter : Well, you know, if we're gonna be real girlfriends, we should get a third girl we can trash behind her back.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : Oh, so we'd be catty. Oh, I like it. What about Sheldon's fiancee? She seems a bit dour.
Penny Hofstadter : Ooh, "dour". Meow.
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Penny Hofstadter : [her phone chimes] Leonard, did you really just text me from the couch to put extra mustard on your sandwich?
Leonard Hofstadter : I was worried you might not check your e-mail.
Penny Hofstadter : [her phone chimes again] I swear to god, I will throw this out.
Leonard Hofstadter : That one was not me.
Penny Hofstadter : [checking her phone] Oh, wait, it was just your mom.
Leonard Hofstadter : My mother's texting you?
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah. We've been talking a lot lately.
Leonard Hofstadter : Why? She sick of talking to the magic mirror on the wall?
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Penny Hofstadter : Oh, uh, hey, Beverly, you called my phone, not Leonard's.
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : Actually, I was hoping to speak with you. Is this a good time?
Penny Hofstadter : Uh, that depends. What time is it where you are?
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : [checking her watch] Uh, just after 5:00.
Penny Hofstadter : [taking a wine bottle from the fridge] Yeah, that counts. What's up?
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Penny Hofstadter : Do you not want me to be friends with your mom?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, let's be clear. I... I married you to hurt her. You're kind of ruining it.