The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Consummation Deviation (2018)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
-
Sheldon Cooper : Can I feed peanuts to the elephants at your wedding?
Raj Koothrappali : That is such a stereotype!
Sheldon Cooper : There won't be any elephants?
Raj Koothrappali : Of course there'll be elephants. It's a stereotype that you feed them peanuts.
-
Amy Farrah Fowler : Are you really gonna plan a wedding in three months?
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah, well, her family's doing most of the work. They're amazing. We talk all the time.
Sheldon Cooper : Why?
Raj Koothrappali : Because we're about to get married and they're gonna be my family.
Sheldon Cooper : Amy and I are married, and I never talk to her family.
Penny Hofstadter : Really? My parents love Leonard.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah. And my mother loves Penny, which is weird, because I never knew she could love.
-
Raj Koothrappali : Hey, guys, before Anu gets here, can I talk about the seating situation? I really don't want her to sit on the floor.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, no problem. Bernadette, floor.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Hey!
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, you can't make my wife sit on the floor.
Sheldon Cooper : Fine. Howard, floor.
Penny Hofstadter : Fine, I'll sit on the floor.
Raj Koothrappali : Thank you, Penny. And Leonard, I was kind of hoping I could sit next to Anu.
Leonard Hofstadter : So now I have to sit next on the floor? It's my house. Why can't Sheldon sit on the floor?
Sheldon Cooper : That might be the dumbest thing you have ever said.
-
Sheldon Cooper : So, how does this work with in-laws? Am I supposed to be calling you Dad? Because I don't want to.
Larry Fowler : You don't have to.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, thanks, Larry. Ooh. That doesn't sound right. Maybe I should pick a vegetable for you.
-
Mrs. Fowler : Thank you, Amy. It's so nice of you to have us over for dinner.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Couldn't think of a single reason not to.
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, and boy, did she try.
-
[last lines]
Larry Fowler : Would anyone like to see the magic trick Howard taught me?
Amy Farrah Fowler : I'd love to see your trick, daddy.
Larry Fowler : [standing up] A perfectly ordinary table knife. Watch closely.
[he makes it disappear]
Larry Fowler : Voila.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, my gosh, that was so good.
[blood begins to seep from his hands]
Amy Farrah Fowler : Well, look, there's fake blood, too.
Larry Fowler : [hurrying to the bathroom] I'll be right back.
Mrs. Fowler : I don't know about you, but I don't really like magic.
Sheldon Cooper : You just keep getting better and better.
-
Howard Wolowitz : Guys, guys, there's a simple solution.
Raj Koothrappali : I am not breaking up with her.
Howard Wolowitz : All right. Let's keep thinking.
Raj Koothrappali : [a few minutes later] Hey, everybody, it's Anu.
Anu : Hi.
Howard Wolowitz , Leonard Hofstadter , Penny Hofstadter , Bernadette Rostenkowski , Amy Farrah Fowler : [all crammed onto one cushion] Hi!
Sheldon Cooper : [in his spot] Welcome!
-
Amy Farrah Fowler : You're up early.
Sheldon Cooper : Huh? Yes. I wanted to get a jump on planning a day of fun for you.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, that's sweet. What are we doing?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, no, just you. I have other plans. Now, would you prefer to see "The Grinch" in 2-D or 3-D?
Amy Farrah Fowler : I don't wanna see it at all.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, let's go 2-D. No sense in spending extra money.
Amy Farrah Fowler : What are you gonna be doing?
Sheldon Cooper : Being a great husband.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Yeah, you're gonna need to show your work on that.
-
Sheldon Cooper : After last night, I got to thinking that I should have a better relationship with your family.
Amy Farrah Fowler : I think the one you have with them is perfect.
Sheldon Cooper : I hardly have one at all.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Which is perfect.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, Amy, they're important to you, and you're important to me. Therefore, according to the transitive property, they're important to me. It's the same reason I'm interested in your big, flat feet.
-
Amy Farrah Fowler : You know that my mom can be... well, difficult to get along with.
Sheldon Cooper : Which is why I'm starting with your dad and working my way up.
Amy Farrah Fowler : All right. I'm just worried you might have a rather unpleasant day.
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, back at you. I watched the trailer for "The Grinch"; it looks terrible.
-
Amy Farrah Fowler : Hi, daddy.
Larry Fowler : Hey, pumpkin.
Sheldon Cooper : Pumpkin! I've been calling her Spaghetti Squash. It's amazing that one woman can be different vegetables to different men.
-
Sheldon Cooper : It's called "Lethal Weapon", but isn't that redundant? Aren't weapons, but their very nature, lethal?
Larry Fowler : I suppose you're right.
Sheldon Cooper : And don't even get me started on "Unsolved Mysteries".
Larry Fowler : I didn't get you started on "Lethal Weapon".
-
Howard Wolowitz : What are you guys up to?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, father-in-law/son-in-law bonding. It's going great. Look at what he bought me at the train store.
[he takes out and blows a whistle]
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, it sounded louder in the car.
Howard Wolowitz : Cool. Can I see it?
Sheldon Cooper : [handing it over] Hmm? Sure.
Howard Wolowitz : Interesting. This is one of those disappearing whistles.
Sheldon Cooper : What are you talking about?
Howard Wolowitz : [making it disappear] Voila.
Larry Fowler : Amazing. Where did it go?
Howard Wolowitz : Look in your pocket.
Larry Fowler : [taking it out] Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh, how did you do that?
Howard Wolowitz : Sorry, a magician never shares his secrets.
Larry Fowler : I'll give you a hundred bucks.
Howard Wolowitz : Sold!
Larry Fowler : Okay. Hey. Where's my wallet?
Howard Wolowitz : [making it appear] Voila.
-
Howard Wolowitz : What's up?
Sheldon Cooper : I need you to stop being so delightful.
Howard Wolowitz : What?
Sheldon Cooper : I'm supposed to be bonding with him. You have your own father-in-law. Leave mine alone.
Howard Wolowitz : Tell you what, you take my father-in-law, I'll take yours.
Sheldon Cooper : I don't want your father-in-law.
Howard Wolowitz : [doing the "coin behind the ear" trick] Well, what if I throw in a quarter?
Larry Fowler : [giddy like a little kid] Do it again! Do it again!
-
Mrs. Fowler : Sheldon? What's going on? Where's Larry?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, Turnip's out. I'm bonding with you.
-
Sheldon Cooper : So the doctor prescribed Nizoral and it blocked enzyme action, and the fungus cleared right up.
Mrs. Fowler : That's a very disturbing picture.
Sheldon Cooper : Yes, well, they say a picture's worth a thousand words, but I say nothing beats a picture and a thousand words.
Mrs. Fowler : Still, you might wanna take it off Facebook.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, no. It's in my nature to share.
-
Sheldon Cooper : Other than Amy, have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Mrs. Fowler : I am not going to answer that.
Sheldon Cooper : Smart. Save something for our next get-together.
-
Sheldon Cooper : Hello, Amy.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Hey, how's it going?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, Howard lured your father away with magic, so now I'm bonding with your mom.
[seeing Mrs. Fowler's hard stare]
Sheldon Cooper : I think she likes me.
-
Mrs. Fowler : Amy said she couldn't come to Thanksgiving dinner because you always have to spend it with your mother.
Sheldon Cooper : I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my mother in years.
[to Amy]
Sheldon Cooper : Amy, why would you tell your mother that I spend Thanksgiving with my mother?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Uh... no time to talk about that now. All your action figures are on fire. Harrison Ford's in the lobby. Come quick.
Mrs. Fowler : And Amy never joins us for Sunday dinners because you refuse to go out on a school night.
Sheldon Cooper : Sh... I can go out on a school night as long as I'm in my PJs by 10:00.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon, don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about. She's crazy!
Mrs. Fowler : Hello, Amy.
Amy Farrah Fowler : [weakly] Hello, mother. Good news. We-we can come for Thanksgiving this year.
-
Mrs. Fowler : I can't believe it. All this time, I've been angry at you when I should have been angry at Amy.
Sheldon Cooper : Look at that. We're both angry at Amy. Maybe that's something we could bond over. Let me ask you this: how do you feel about Howard?
Mrs. Fowler : Oh, is he that odd little friend you have with the haircut?
Sheldon Cooper : I may have married the wrong Fowler.
-
Mrs. Fowler : Why would Amy feel the need to lie to me?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, maybe perhaps because you're her mother and she didn't want to disappoint you.
Mrs. Fowler : Really? Even afer she threw you under the bus, you're still gonna defend her.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, yes. She's my wife and I love her. And if I can forgive her for putting ketchup on her eggs, I can forgive her for this.
Mrs. Fowler : Her father does that. It's disgusting.
Sheldon Cooper : Amy's crazy. You are a delight.