The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The VCR Illumination (2018)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
-
Penny : Okay, Sheldon and Amy are still pretty upset about their theory being disproved.
Leonard Hofstadter : So we have made a list of subjects for everyone to avoid.
Penny : Symmetry.
Leonard Hofstadter : Asymmetry.
Penny : Oh, "Sim City". Sounds too much like symmetry.
Leonard Hofstadter : That also applies to "The Simpsons", Simba from "The Lion King" and cymbals.
Penny : Russia or Russian in any context. The country, the dressing, the roulette.
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, also, no talk of "Rocky IV".
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Why "Rocky IV"?
Howard Wolowitz : Because he fights a Russian.
[to Penny and Leonard]
Howard Wolowitz : I'm sorry about her.
-
Penny : We should just try and avoid anything that makes them think of their project or science or Nobel Prizes or successes or failures.
Amy Farrah Fowler : [entering] Hi.
[calls of greeting]
Amy Farrah Fowler : What are you guys doing?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Nothing.
Sheldon Cooper : Nothing? Like what my career has come to? Thanks a lot!
[He leaves, upset]
Howard Wolowitz : [to Bernadette] Nice going.
-
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Hey, I'm gonna take tomorrow off so we can spend the whole day running the act.
Howard Wolowitz : You know what? It has been so much fun working on this with you, but...
Bernadette Rostenkowski : But what?
Howard Wolowitz : It hasn't. I'm not gonna audition.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Hey, I didn't raise a quitter!
Howard Wolowitz : You didn't raise me at all!
-
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Look, I get that you're scared, but we just have to push past that.
Howard Wolowitz : I'm not scared. I don't like the act. It's over the top and weird and has more jazz hands than magic.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Why didn't you say something earlier?
Howard Wolowitz : You seemed like you were so happy, and then when I tried to say something, you seemed like you were so mad.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Hey, this isn't about me. I just wanted you to have your dream, and I wanted to control everything about how you looked and acted so that your victory was mine!
Howard Wolowitz : Well, that's... honest.
-
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Is that a VCR?
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah. Amy asked if we had one she could borrow, and I just want to make sure it still works.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : What's on the tape?
Howard Wolowitz : Not sure. I used to record a lot of "Jeopardy!" for my mom, but if I push play and you see some naked people...
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Got it. What is porn?
Howard Wolowitz : Ooh, we were looking for "vintage '80s erotica", but I'll accept it.
-
Howard Wolowitz : What's all this?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Your magic tricks from the garage. Your wands, your top hat with the stuffed mouse inside.
Howard Wolowitz : I never had a stuffed mouse.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Okay, do not wear this hat.
Howard Wolowitz : Why is it all in the living room?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Because I think the Great Howdini deserves to be a member of the Magic Castle.
Howard Wolowitz : That's sweet, but I'm not that guy anymore. I've outgrown it.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [holding up an old pair of skinny jeans to his waist] Have you?
-
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Look. I know you still want this, and I can help you. All those pageants I did as a kid? I could teach you how to present yourself, connect with the judges, sabotage the competition.
Howard Wolowitz : Whoa, whoa. No one's sabotaging anybody.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Of course not. Little girls in ball growns trip. It happens. Trust me, I'm gonna be the pageant mom to you that my mom was to me.
Howard Wolowitz : I thought you hated your mom for making you do that.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [sternly] More talk like that and you're not getting any dinner!
[pleasantly]
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Amazing how it all comes back.
-
Howard Wolowitz : Hello. I'm the Great Howdini from Altadena, California. I have no brothers or sisters and my favorite thing to eat is grilled cheese.
Raj Koothrappali : [unimpressed] When does the magic start?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : It already started.
-
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Are you getting sick?
Howard Wolowitz : No, I have glitter in my nose.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Just your nose? Consider yourself lucky.
-
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Put it back on. You look adorable.
Howard Wolowitz : It's just a practice tape from when I was trying to become a member of the Magic Castle.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : I didn't know you auditioned there.
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, I never went through with it. I watched the tape and realized I wasn't good enough. You know that trick where you saw a mannequin in half?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Don't you mean a lady?
Howard Wolowitz : Thank God it was not a lady. I'd just be getting out of jail.
-
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Come on, you're a good magician.
Howard Wolowitz : Really? You always called magic dumb.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : You can be good at something dumb. You know what? You should audition now.
Howard Wolowitz : It's fine. I don't need to be a member of the most elite magical society on the face of the earth.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Sounds like you still want it. And I don't want our kids to see this tape one day and think their dad is a quitter.
Howard Wolowitz : We don't have to show it to them.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, I am definitely showing it to them.