- Mitchell Pritchett: I went to Hero Con.
- Cameron Tucker: Oh, not in costume!
- Mitchell Pritchett: Affirmative, Fizbo.
- Haley Dunphy: I'm a hot girl who wears low-cut tops. I know what a scared seventeen year old looks like.
- Mitchell Pritchett: Alright, I gotta go.
- Cameron Tucker: Wait, where's my hug?
- Cal: Hug!
- Cameron Tucker: Go. Go save yourself.
- [Cal tackles Cam around the legs and sends him crashing to the floor]
- Jay Pritchett: And what's with all the eye contact? Back in my day, nerds had the decency to stare at their shoes.