- Destiny: [cheer-conference] Are you guys gonna tell me what's going on, or do you expect me to guess?
- Willow: What are we gonna do about being cheersmacked?
- Destiny: [scoffs] Nothing. It was a prank. A practical joke. We can't take it seriously. People have probably already forgotten about it.
- Roxanne: I don't think so.
- Hannah: Mm-hmm. My IG followers are way down today. And people have always wanted my pics. I mean, especially since I've started taking butt selfies.
- Destiny: Yeah, my followers were down too. But that happens, right?
- Willow: No. It's because we're under a viral assault.
- Destiny: So what? A few teams challenged us. That happens, like, on a daily.
- Willow: Uh, no, there are dozens.
- Hannah: Yeah, we're cheer chum in the water, and there's a feeding frenzy.
- Destiny: It's not that bad.
- Willow: Don't act like you're not sweating through your sports bra over this. Destiny, we need to shake things up. Draw out our old routines and start fresh.
- Destiny: Okay, first of all, I don't sweat, I glisten. And we're not gonna throw out all of our *winning* routines just because some team challenged us, Willow.
- Willow: Look, we've been doing a version of the same stuff for years.
- Destiny: I'm the one who led us to number one. So why would I want anything to change?
- Willow: For starters, we lost four of our boys.
- Destiny: What?
- Willow: Destiny, we're sinking. And the boys are jumping ship.
- Destiny: Like rats who will drown without me.
- Willow: We're all gonna drown if we don't do something.
- Destiny: It's simple! We'll replace the boys we lost.
- Willow: The season's started. All the good ones are already taken.
- Destiny: Who would turn down an opportunity to cheer with me? That's cheerdiculous.
- Hannah: Why do we even need stinky groin-scratching, and not to mention... finger-slipping... boys?
- Destiny: Let's not pretend Lesbionic Lisa and Big Tina hasn't slipped a digit or two.
- [culprits smile]
- Hannah: I lost my virginity that way.
- Destiny: [perturbed by this:] Okay. We're not thinking about boys in the right way. We are the main outfits. The boys are just the accessories. They make us look better, like... glitter pom-poms or... metallic gloss. Could we stop talking about boys?
- Willow: That's not the problem. We're doing the same old routines.
- Destiny: That's it. We're taking them down.
- Willow: Wait. We're accepting the challenge? Did you not hear them? We're taking on the whole freaking cheer world.
- Hannah: Yeah, that sounds like a lot to me. I mean, I've never even left the country. Well, except to go to Hawaii.
- Roxanne: And we're not ready.
- Destiny: So we'll fake it. Hannah, you do it all the time. You give the best facials on the squad.
- Hannah: Well, yeah, Mom says it's good practice for when I get married.
- Destiny: [ignores that] Okay, Willow, get your camera, we're going to the gym. I want you to film the best parts of our routine to post.
- Willow: The new boys are still learning on the team.
- Destiny: It's fifteen seconds. Who can't shine in fifteen seconds?
- Raiders team: [whispering] Cheerlebrity... ah cheerlebrity...
- Destiny: I'm Destiny / I'm hot / my moves will make you trot / that's Roxanne / she's bad / she's sexy and she's rad / there's Hannah and Willow / they'll make you bite your pillow / I fly so high / I dance, I make you cry / this body, this too / y'all holler back...
- Raiders team: Yoo hoo!
- Destiny: My girls / we're fierce / our nose and
- [bleep]
- Destiny: are pierced / we're hot, we're cool / watch all the fellas drool / hey, boys, watch this / you wanna see us kiss? / a squad, so good / just watch / oh, hell no, is that wood?
- [touches boy]
- Raiders team: [all together] Let's go / unite / you know our moves are tight / we are the best / from East Coast to the West / sit back / relax / and watch as you climax / to our routine / you know we'll be the king...
- Perky Cheerleader: [video message to Destiny] I can't believe that I used to be a fan, but I can't wait to see you fall on your ass!
- Destiny: [to picture of Vivica A. Fox inside locker] Cheer Goddess, grant me the strength I need to deal with the nasty comments and the embarrassment. I've learned from your teachings to lead by example. Still, you and I both know the Rebels would be nothing without me. And that's not me being conceited.
- [shakes her head]
- Destiny: I'm just a natural born leader, like Jesus with a high pony.
- Willow: We need to step up our game.
- Destiny: We need to start somewhere. So let's start with our basic routines.
- Willow: All our routines are basic.
- Destiny: Excuse me?
- Willow: Nothing.
- Destiny: Yeah, that's what I thought.
- Willow: I just feel like we're doing this to win championships. To get the judges' approval, but not because we love it. That's all.
- Destiny: Yeah, all I heard was "win championships." Let's take it from the top, everybody with music!