- Ryan Hansen: I don't know how the writers are going to improve on the plot. It's such a barnburner. It's like, how do you top opening on a dead body?
- [cut to a shot of a pair of victims]
- Ryan Hansen: Two dead bodies.
- Ryan Hansen: What's your read on this one.
- Jessica Mathers: Well, they're dead.
- Ryan Hansen: Man sure, sure.
- Ryan Hansen: [referring to the costumes the victims are wearing] What do make of their outfits
- Jessica Mathers: Maybe they found out they were auditioning for the same role as you and decided to kill themselves out of shame.
- Ryan Hansen: Hey, do you think I should have a badge.
- Jessica Mathers: No.
- Ryan Hansen: Really?
- Jessica Mathers: Yes.
- Ryan Hansen: Why?
- Jessica Mathers: Because you're a moron... and it would be illegal - but mostly the first part.
- Ryan Hansen: How am I supposed to give an authentic performance if I don't have a gun or a badge?
- Jessica Mathers: I guess you'll just have to rely on the suspension of disbelief.
- Ryan Hansen: Okay, whoa, whoa, hold on now! Wait, wait, okay, okay? Look I get it. I know why you killed her. I know what it's like to love something that doesn't love you back. I've been a working actor for over a decade and most people just confuse me with Ryan Philippe. And, yeah, after all these years, I got my own show and it's not even on television. It's on a website that most people think they jerk off to. I know your pain, Parker. I'm the same as you. We all hurt.
- [Mathers slugs the murderous Parker, then arrests her]
- Ryan Hansen: Took you long enough.
- Jessica Mathers: I didn't want to interrupt your monologue.
- Jessica Mathers: Hey, haircut, catch.
- [Mathers tosses Hansen a badge]
- Ryan Hansen: No way. Seriously?
- Jessica Mathers: It's a meter maid's badge, but I don't think anyone'll notice.
- Ryan Hansen: See you tomorrow. Thanks.
- [picks up a coffee stirrer]
- Jessica Mathers: Mouth prop.