- Ben Cafferty: Eat a few corn dogs.
- Selina Meyer: Last thing I need is my picture being taken eating dick-shaped food. I'd rather eat a food-shaped dick.
- Dan Egan: Ma'am, Kemi just picked up two Senators and a union.
- Selina Meyer: A good union or, like, teachers?
- Dan Egan: Local 74. Iowa Asbestos Workers.
- Kent Davison: Well, there you go.
- [Everybody laughs]
- Richard Splett: Actually, my uncle was a shop steward in the 7-4. Asbestos killed him.
- Selina Meyer: I'm sorry, Richard.
- Richard Splett: Asbestos was the name of their pit bull. It was a rescue that killed its first owner.
- Teddy Sykes: You can't say "retarded" in front of a reporter.
- Jonah Ryan: Why, is he retarded?
- Teddy Sykes: No, but you might be.
- Jonah Ryan: No. My pediatrician ran the tests. Besides, if I was, you'd know. I'd have retard face or whatever.